Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified? Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation?
Sample Response
Medical science has improved tremendously over last few decades. The majority of the medicines available in the market have been tested on the animals and once the satisfactory results have been received, those medicines are approved for human use. Many people question these days is it required to torture animals in the name of medical needs. Experimenting on the animals for scientific purposes has been adopted since many years so certainly there must be few advantages of it. Firstly, human life is very important so it would not be a wise step to try medicines directly on humans. Experimenting on animals is a proved technique. Our science has discovered that the human body is similar to the animals. For example, the anaesthesia, which is used to make animals unconscious, works similarly on the humans. On the other hand, it is definitely inhumane to treat animals as a machine. Animals are tortured during the experiments. For instance, to test the nail polish, the chemical is put into rabbit's eyes. Because animals cannot speak, we are unable to understand their pain. In few of the experiments, the animal's body parts are being cut one by one to capture the record the medicine's effect. Science has progressed in all the directions. So, we surely have few alternatives which should be encouraged to alternate animal experimentation. One of them is to use more natural products. If the demand for the chemical product is reduced, such experiments would definitely be reduced. For instance, many cosmetic companies are selling natural beauty products, where it is clearly mentioned that "Not tried on animals". If people increase the use of such products, other cosmetic companies would also try to sell natural products. If we can develop medicines to reduce human pain, we should also create medicines to reduce animal’s pain during experiments. I believe that we all have equal rights to live happy and healthy lives on this planet. I would say we should promote a healthier lifestyle to reduce overall use of the medicines.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: over last few decades Suggested revision: over the last few decades Why it matters: The definite article is required in the fixed time expression the last few decades.
- 2. Remove the article Original: tested on the animals Suggested revision: tested on animals Why it matters: Animals is used generically here, so it does not take the definite article.
- 3. Fix article and verb Original: once the satisfactory results have been received Suggested revision: once satisfactory results have been obtained Why it matters: The generic plural noun needs no article, and results are obtained rather than received in this context.
- 4. Fix the time expression Original: adopted since many years Suggested revision: practised for many years Why it matters: For expresses a duration, while since requires a specific starting point.
- 5. Add some and to Original: few advantages of it Suggested revision: some advantages to it Why it matters: Some conveys the intended positive quantity, and advantage takes to in this construction.
- 6. Use the correct adjective Original: a proved technique Suggested revision: a proven technique Why it matters: Proven is the natural adjective meaning established by evidence.
- 7. Use a precise subject Original: Our science Suggested revision: Scientific research Why it matters: Scientific research is the natural subject for a claim about a discovery.
- 8. Compare like with like Original: the human body is similar to the animals Suggested revision: the human body is similar to that of animals Why it matters: The revision correctly compares the human body with the bodies of animals.
- 9. Remove the article Original: the anaesthesia Suggested revision: anaesthesia Why it matters: Anaesthesia is uncountable in this general reference and does not take the definite article.
- 10. Remove the article Original: on the humans Suggested revision: on humans Why it matters: Humans is a generic plural here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 11. Match the plural noun Original: treat animals as a machine Suggested revision: treat animals as machines Why it matters: The complement should be plural to agree with animals.
- 12. Fix the possessive form Original: into rabbit's eyes Suggested revision: into a rabbit's eyes Why it matters: The singular possessive needs an article when referring to one representative animal.
Suggested Rewrites
- over last few decades over the last few decades
- tested on the animals tested on animals
- once the satisfactory results have been received once satisfactory results have been obtained
- adopted since many years practised for many years
- few advantages of it some advantages to it
- a proved technique a proven technique
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers relevant ethical concerns and concrete examples, and its stance against causing animal suffering becomes apparent. However, the position on whether scientific experimentation is justified remains insufficiently explicit, while the proposed alternatives mostly reduce product demand rather than replace testing methods. State a direct qualified position early, develop genuine scientific alternatives, and organise the argument into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are considered and relevant reasoning is offered, but the position on justification is diffuse and the alternatives only partly answer the need for replacement testing methods.
State a direct position and develop credible scientific alternatives such as cell cultures or computer modelling rather than mainly proposing reduced consumption.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible sequence and basic linking, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens organisation and makes shifts between ideas abrupt.
Divide the response into an introduction, focused body paragraphs for justification and alternatives, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The writer uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices undermine precision.
Correct recurring combinations such as over the last few decades, proven technique, alternatives to animal experimentation, and live happily.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted and meaning remains generally clear, but frequent errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, possession, and sentence construction limit control.
Edit each sentence for complete clause structure and practise article and preposition patterns in common academic noun phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you believe that experimentation on animals for scientific purposes is justified? Are there any alternatives to animal experimentation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.