Some people believe that animal husbandry is the biggest factor causing global warming. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The biggest challenge that human beings face in this world is the global warming. This problem has been a concern of most scientists around the world since the temperature of the earth was seen having an increase which means that there is an unbalance in the earth air compositions. Animal husbandry is being judged as the biggest contributor to this issue due to the methane exhausted by ruminants. However, this, in my perspective, is not the truth but just a result of political necessity.
Animal husbandry cannot be blamed as the biggest cause of global warming owing to some reasons. First of all, human beings cannot deny their requirements of essential proteins which are mostly obtained from animals such as cattle, goats, chickens, etc. Currently, beef, a product from cattle which is one type of ruminants, has been fulfilling the proteins demand worldwide because it is one of the most productive and reproductive animals with a quite short interval calving (being able to produce one calf per cow per year and achieving a slaughtering age of three to four years). Secondly, the methane produced by the animals is actually harmful to the world when the number of plants decreases dramatically and not be taken into account as a serious problem. It should be more trees planted and more reforestations done to balance the production of animals. Therefore, the collaboration between all sectors of agriculture is genuinely needed.
On the other hand, numerous other factors are also considerably leading to an increasing amount of greenhouse gases such as Carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. These are, for example, industries using petrol gases and an increasing number of fuel-based vehicles, which required by the need for the expanding human population around the globe.
However, this is not as easy as it is thought. The more research is required to be conducted in order to measure to what extent this globe has experienced this frustrating problem and of course, how much the methane from animal husbandry contributed invites a more meticulous study to not casually conclude that it is the most horrible haunting factor.
All in all, to stop the rise in greenhouse gases, an appropriate number of measures should be conducted. There is no need to just blame one crucial suspicious contributive sector without any actions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: the global warming Suggested revision: global warming Why it matters: The established uncountable term does not take the definite article here.
- 2. Use the correct verb Original: exhausted Suggested revision: emitted Why it matters: Gases are emitted rather than exhausted by animals.
- 3. Correct the expression Original: perspective Suggested revision: view Why it matters: The standard expression for introducing a personal judgement is “in my view.”
- 4. Use adjective form Original: not the truth Suggested revision: not true Why it matters: The adjective produces a more direct and natural complement after “is.”
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: owing to some reasons Suggested revision: for several reasons Why it matters: “For several reasons” is the natural phrase for introducing multiple grounds.
- 6. Correct protein phrasing Original: requirements of essential proteins which are Suggested revision: need for essential protein, which is Why it matters: “Need for protein” is idiomatic, and the following verb must agree with the singular uncountable noun.
- 7. Correct noun phrase Original: proteins demand Suggested revision: demand for protein Why it matters: English uses “demand for” before the thing that is needed.
- 8. Refine the description Original: most productive and reproductive animals Suggested revision: most productive livestock animals Why it matters: “Reproductive animals” is awkward and does not clearly express the intended productivity claim.
- 9. Fix word order Original: a quite short interval calving Suggested revision: a fairly short calving interval Why it matters: “Calving” must modify “interval” before the noun in this phrase.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: collaboration between all sectors of agriculture Suggested revision: cooperation across all agricultural sectors Why it matters: This wording is more concise and idiomatic for coordination throughout an industry.
- 11. Clarify the contribution Original: considerably leading to an increasing amount Suggested revision: contributing substantially to increasing amounts Why it matters: The revision gives the cause-and-effect relationship a natural verb and matches the plural gases.
- 12. Clarify industrial emissions Original: industries using petrol gases Suggested revision: industries burning petroleum-based fuels Why it matters: The revision states the intended industrial activity with a natural verb and noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- the global warming global warming
- exhausted emitted
- perspective view
- not the truth not true
- owing to some reasons for several reasons
- requirements of essential proteins which are need for essential protein, which is
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear disagreement and uses an appropriate essay structure, with relevant awareness of methane and other emission sources. Its main limitation is that several arguments are weakly supported or logically questionable, especially the discussion of protein needs and plants offsetting methane, while frequent awkward grammar reduces precision. The priority is to build two directly relevant, evidence-based reasons and express them in clearer, more controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, but development is uneven because some reasons are only loosely relevant or insufficiently justified.
Support the disagreement with two well-explained comparisons showing why other causes contribute more than animal husbandry.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into purposeful paragraphs and progresses broadly logically, though some links between claims are strained.
Give each body paragraph one central claim and make every following sentence explain or illustrate that claim directly.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic with some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make expression unnatural.
Prioritise precise, conventional combinations such as methane emitted by livestock and demand for protein over elaborate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring article, agreement, and clause-construction errors reduce clarity.
Use shorter complex sentences with clearly matched subjects and verbs, then check articles and passive constructions systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that animal husbandry is the biggest factor causing global warming. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.