A growing number of people feel that people should not exploit animals and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People have different views with regard to animal protection and it is used. While it is believed by some people that humans should not use animals for their own motives, others feel animals are used for various purposes, human-like eating and medical. In my opinion, animal exploitation should not be done because this would disturb the ecological chain, and they also have aesthetic appeal.
On the one hand, those who justify animal exploitation give the following reasons. First, everyone has a unique property; if humans use animals for food, like chickens, then it is necessary because no one can replace others. No nutritionist can provide the replacement of chicken meat for weight gain. For Example, chicken has a property of protein which is useful for weight gain or muscle building. Second, many medical properties can come from experiments on animals. The scientist said that they do not test any medicine on beings directly. Hence, tests on birds and animals are justified.
On the other hand, some feel humans need not use animals for their motives. Firstly, animals have an influence on an ecological chain. If animals or birds are extinct by human exploitation, then humans are also gone forever. Because everything is connected to each other. For instance, insects are eaten by bats, and if insects are increased, then it destroys the crop, which would affect humans directly. Second, every animal has aesthetic appeal. They look beautiful and complete their nature with diversity. Suppose those are gone, then diversity is also lost, which is a hazard to nature. Thus, humans should not become exploitative the animal for their own use.
In my opinion, in nature, every birds and animal have equal right, and human has the power to save the earth’s diversity, so they need not an exploitative animal because they have equal emotions a human. So that they need not use for research as other computer-based experimentation options are available.
In conclusion, although some people believe that animals are used for food and research for humans, others feel it is not worthy. In my view, animals need protection due to their importance in the ecological chain and diversity. It is rightly said that animals are gone, plants are gone, and then, ultimately, humans are gone.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix unclear reference Original: animal protection and it is used Suggested revision: animal protection and how animals are used Why it matters: The pronoun does not clearly refer to animals and makes the opening clause ungrammatical.
- 2. Use precise examples Original: human-like eating and medical Suggested revision: such as food and medical research Why it matters: The original phrase does not express the intended uses of animals clearly.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: animal exploitation should not be done Suggested revision: animals should not be exploited Why it matters: The passive verb directly and naturally expresses the intended meaning.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: disturb the ecological chain Suggested revision: disrupt the ecological balance Why it matters: This collocation conveys environmental harm more naturally.
- 5. Clarify the subject Original: everyone has a unique property Suggested revision: each animal-based food has distinctive nutritional properties Why it matters: Everyone incorrectly refers to people when the sentence is discussing foods from animals.
- 6. Fix reference and number Original: no one can replace others Suggested revision: one food cannot always replace another Why it matters: The pronouns refer to people and do not express the comparison between foods.
- 7. Fix noun pattern Original: the replacement of chicken meat Suggested revision: a replacement for chicken meat Why it matters: Replacement takes for when naming the item being substituted.
- 8. Fix capitalization Original: Example Suggested revision: example Why it matters: Example should not be capitalized within this introductory phrase.
- 9. Use accurate collocation Original: a property of protein Suggested revision: a high protein content Why it matters: Protein content is the natural expression for the nutritional characteristic described.
- 10. Clarify research outcome Original: medical properties can come from experiments Suggested revision: medical advances can result from experiments Why it matters: Medical properties is not an appropriate term for outcomes produced by experiments.
- 11. Fix general reference Original: The scientist said Suggested revision: Scientists argue Why it matters: A plural generic subject is needed because no particular scientist has been identified.
- 12. Name the group clearly Original: on beings directly Suggested revision: directly on humans Why it matters: Beings is too vague and the adverb is more naturally placed before the prepositional phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- animal protection and it is used animal protection and how animals are used
- human-like eating and medical such as food and medical research
- animal exploitation should not be done animals should not be exploited
- disturb the ecological chain disrupt the ecological balance
- everyone has a unique property each animal-based food has distinctive nutritional properties
- no one can replace others one food cannot always replace another
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its complete structure: it discusses both positions and maintains a clear opinion, supported by several relevant examples. Its main limitation is that some reasoning is simplistic or unclear, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each argument with more convincing logic and express those connections through consistently accurate sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but several supporting claims are simplistic, questionable, or insufficiently explained.
Develop each main claim through a clear cause-and-effect explanation and use a credible, directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical overall structure, although linking is sometimes mechanical and a few fragments or unclear references interrupt progression.
Connect sentences through explicit logical relationships and revise fragments so every point develops smoothly from the preceding one.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations for discussing animal rights and check that less common words fit their grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, word forms, and clause construction weaken control.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement, complete clause structure, and accurate noun and adjective forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
A growing number of people feel that people should not exploit animals and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.