It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Man-made materials are gaining prominence in daily use due to their low cost. With such benefits comes the proposal that animals are no longer necessary for food, clothing, or medical research.low cost, with such benefits comes a proposal whereby animals are no longer necessities in the production of food, clothing and medical research. Despite its good intentionswill to save more animals from torture, this idea, in my opinion, is impractical because of overestimating humanity's present abilities and ignoring the massive need in reality.
Completely discontinuing the use ofGenerally stopping using animals for food, clothing or medical research as source materials does have some factual support. With the development of science and technology, especially the progress in biological and chemical fields, it is possible to meet needs which once had to be fulfilled through exploiting animals. Examples abound as to how people use soy beans instead of milk to get enough protein at breakfast, how people make coats out of petroleum-based synthetic fabricsfabric extracted from oil rather than wool to keep out the cold in winter, and how people cultivate cells in the laboratory to carry out medical experiments. What's more, such substitutions usually come at a low cost, since it's much easier to increase the scale of manufacturing and control the quality of products, in comparison with animal-derived productsanimal counterparts which grow slowly and are vulnerable to diseases. Therefore, it seems reasonable to replace all animals' roles in food, clothing or medical research.
However, this idea is restricted from being put into practice by the limitsborder of human capabilities and the uniqueness of animals. There are in fact a lot of experiments in the process of developing new products that require animals as participants to test the hypotheses. For example, when a new kind of medicine is being developed, an irreplaceable step is animal testingthe animal test, otherwise scientists will not be able to fully understand its effects and potential harm to the human body just through computer simulation. Moreover, animals contain many valuable resources, such as unique genetic traits and fur,treasures (e.g., unique genes, delicate fur) that are crucial to our future research into the nutrition, biology, and materials sciencematerials science worlds, thereby contributing to the well-being of humankind.
In conclusion, the necessity of involving animals in the fields of food, clothing or medical research remains as they hold so many treasures that still waiting to be discoveredwait for us to discover in order to create a more developed world.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear position, effectively exploring both the potential for alternative materials and the ongoing reliance on animals in scientific contexts. To elevate the work further, the candidate should fully flesh out the counter-arguments regarding food and clothing in the body paragraphs rather than focusing primarily on medical research in the second half. Refining some awkward phrasings and idiomatic word choices will also help achieve a higher level of precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position throughout the essay, though the main counter-arguments focus more heavily on medical research than on food and clothing.
Ensure all main elements of the prompt (food, clothing, and medical research) are consistently addressed and supported in both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear overall progression and effective paragraphing, supported by appropriate cohesive devices.
Vary cohesive markers and ensure transitions between opposing paragraphs flow naturally without relying on rigid structural templates.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used flexibly to convey clear meanings, though occasional minor errors in word choice and collocations are present.
Focus on using more natural idiomatic expressions and precise academic collocations rather than literal translations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally good grammatical control and punctuation.
Proofread carefully to eliminate minor grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings in complex conditional or relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.