Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems.
Sample Response
The idea that a marriage should be arranged by the parents of the couple, or by other members-of the family, is quite acceptable to some societies, yet completely out of the question for others. It all depends on your cultural expectations. In so-called western societies, it is very unusual for marriages to be arranged. Most young people would not welcome the idea that their parents have the right to choose their partner for life. They feel that arranged marriages deny them their fundamental right to choose, even if they make a bad decision. However, if we are honest about it, we might acknowledge that some parents organise their children's lives in such a way that they are likely to meet and marry partners the parents approve o£ It could be said that this is, to some extent, similar to an arranged marriage. It is always better when families support the relationship and welcome the grandchildren. People for whom arranged marriages are the cultural norm often argue that the likelihood of the marriage lasting is greater when it is set up in this manner. Parents can be assured that their children are joining a family of similar standing and cultural background, and this, in the long run, makes for a more stable society if your parents' marriage was arranged, and has worked well, then why should you question the custom? The important thing to ensure is that people are never forced into a marriage which will make them unhappy or lead to an unequal relationship where one partner is exploited by the other. This applies in all societies and situations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect hyphen Original: members-of Suggested revision: members of Why it matters: These words form a normal noun-preposition sequence and should not be hyphenated.
- 2. Correct society preposition Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A practice is described as acceptable in a society rather than acceptable to it.
- 3. Keep viewpoint consistent Original: your cultural expectations Suggested revision: the cultural expectations involved Why it matters: The revision avoids an abrupt shift from general discussion to direct second-person address.
- 4. Capitalise proper adjective Original: western Suggested revision: Western Why it matters: Western is capitalised when it names a broad cultural or geographical region.
- 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: their partner for life Suggested revision: a lifelong partner for them Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the partner is being selected for the young person, not the parents.
- 6. Use academic phrasing Original: if we are honest about it Suggested revision: on closer consideration Why it matters: The replacement presents the qualification in a more formal and precise register.
- 7. Correct corrupted word Original: parents approve o£ Suggested revision: parents approve of Why it matters: The final character is a transcription error and the phrasal verb is approve of.
- 8. Use appropriate determiner Original: the Suggested revision: any Why it matters: Any is more suitable because no specific grandchildren have previously been identified.
- 9. Use precise term Original: set up in this manner Suggested revision: arranged in this manner Why it matters: Arranged directly names the type of marriage being discussed and avoids informal phrasing.
- 10. Reduce wordiness Original: a marriage should be arranged by the parents of the couple Suggested revision: parents should arrange their children’s marriage Why it matters: The revision states the same idea more directly and concisely.
- 11. Use concise structure Original: organise their children's lives in such a way that Suggested revision: organise their children's lives so that Why it matters: So that expresses the intended result without unnecessary wording.
- 12. Trim excessive hedging Original: It could be said that this is, to some extent, similar to Suggested revision: This is somewhat similar to Why it matters: The shorter expression preserves the qualification while improving precision.
Suggested Rewrites
- members-of members of
- to in
- your cultural expectations the cultural expectations involved
- western Western
- their partner for life a lifelong partner for them
- if we are honest about it on closer consideration
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response offers a thoughtful and balanced discussion, using well-selected points about personal choice, family compatibility, social stability, and consent. Its main limitation is presentation: all ideas are compressed into one paragraph, and one run-on sentence interrupts otherwise strong control. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and proofread sentence boundaries while preserving the precise, nuanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both marriage systems are examined thoughtfully, with relevant advantages, reservations, and a clear overarching principle about free consent.
Strengthen the comparison further by making the relative merits of each system explicit before the final qualification.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive references are handled well, but the lack of paragraph breaks and one run-on sequence weaken presentation.
Organize the discussion into an introduction, one paragraph for each system, and a concise concluding position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural across abstract discussion of culture, rights, stability, and exploitation.
Maintain this precision while checking isolated transcription or spelling slips and avoiding any slightly imprecise social generalizations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, despite an isolated malformed word and a sentence-boundary error.
Proofread long sentences for clear punctuation and complete boundaries so that complex reasoning remains effortless to follow.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.