Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The idea that parents should arrange their children’s marriagea marriage should be arranged by the parents of the couple, or by other members ofmembers-of the family, is quite acceptable into some societies, yet completely out of the question for others. It all depends on the cultural expectations involvedyour cultural expectations. In so-called Westernwestern societies, it is very unusual for marriages to be arranged. Most young people would not welcome the idea that their parents have the right to choose a lifelong partner for themtheir partner for life. They feel that arranged marriages deny them their fundamental right to choose, even if they make a bad decision. However, on closer considerationif we are honest about it, we might acknowledge that some parents organise their children's lives so thatorganise their children's lives in such a way that they are likely to meet and marry partners the parents approve ofparents approve o£ This is somewhat similar toIt could be said that this is, to some extent, similar to an arranged marriage. It is generally beneficialIt is always better when families support the couple’s relationshipsupport the relationship and welcome anythe grandchildren. People for whom arranged marriages are the cultural norm often argue that the marriage is more likely to lastthe likelihood of the marriage lasting is greater when it is arranged in this mannerset up in this manner. Parents can be assured that their children are joining a family of similar standing and cultural background, and this, in the long run, makes for a more stable society if your parents' marriage was arranged, and has worked well, then why should you question the custom? The important thing to ensure is that people are never forced into a marriage which will make them unhappy or lead to an unequal relationship in whichunequal relationship where one partner is exploited by the other. This applies in all societies and situations.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response offers a thoughtful and balanced discussion, using well-selected points about personal choice, family compatibility, social stability, and consent. Its main limitation is presentation: all ideas are compressed into one paragraph, and one run-on sentence interrupts otherwise strong control. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and proofread sentence boundaries while preserving the precise, nuanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both marriage systems are examined thoughtfully, with relevant advantages, reservations, and a clear overarching principle about free consent.
Strengthen the comparison further by making the relative merits of each system explicit before the final qualification.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive references are handled well, but the lack of paragraph breaks and one run-on sequence weaken presentation.
Organize the discussion into an introduction, one paragraph for each system, and a concise concluding position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural across abstract discussion of culture, rights, stability, and exploitation.
Maintain this precision while checking isolated transcription or spelling slips and avoiding any slightly imprecise social generalizations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, despite an isolated malformed word and a sentence-boundary error.
Proofread long sentences for clear punctuation and complete boundaries so that complex reasoning remains effortless to follow.