Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
The question whether art education is necessary for children at school has drawn much attention from the public. While some people argue that teaching art subjects is a waste of time, I believe that it is significant for children to learn art-related subjects.
At the outset, it is thought by a handful of people that art education at school is a waste of time. There are more important subjects that would benefit children for their future life. Science, technology and mathematics, for example, are of great significant subjects which allows students to find a good job after graduation. On the other hand, studying arts does not lead to a successful career. It is easy to see that those days, most artists have been struggling to make a living from selling their work of art.
Despite the above arguments, from my perspective, learning art is necessary for students at school because of some radical reasons. Firstly, art subjects including music, drawing, painting and sculpture allow children to enter a state of relaxation. After concentration on STEM subjects, what learners need is to unwind by usefully physical activities in order to make a balance. For instance, singing a song in the musical class could bring positive emotion to students. Secondly, studying art could improve performance in other subjects. It is true that art enhances fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination and problem-solving skills which may assists children in attaining better learning outcomes.
In conclusion, although several individuals claim that it is a waste of time for art education, it seems to me that having access to art classes is essential for children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add required preposition Original: The question whether Suggested revision: The question of whether Why it matters: The noun question takes of before a whether-clause in this construction.
- 2. Choose precise meaning Original: significant Suggested revision: beneficial Why it matters: Beneficial directly expresses the intended positive effect on children.
- 3. Use plural agreement Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural noun children requires lives when referring to each child's future.
- 4. Use adjective correctly Original: of great significant subjects Suggested revision: highly significant subjects Why it matters: Significant is an adjective and cannot follow great in this noun phrase.
- 5. Match plural subject Original: allows Suggested revision: allow Why it matters: The relative verb agrees with the plural subject Science, technology and mathematics.
- 6. Use current-time phrase Original: those Suggested revision: these Why it matters: These days is the standard expression for the present period.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: radical Suggested revision: important Why it matters: Important reasons conveys the intended value more naturally than radical reasons.
- 8. Name the subject Original: musical Suggested revision: music Why it matters: Music class is the standard term for a lesson in this school subject.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: emotion Suggested revision: emotions Why it matters: The general emotional effects described here require the plural noun.
- 10. Use base verb Original: assists Suggested revision: assist Why it matters: A modal verb must be followed by the base form of the main verb.
- 11. Use concise phrasing Original: has drawn much attention from the public Suggested revision: has attracted considerable public attention Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more concisely and naturally.
- 12. Use subject name Original: teaching art subjects Suggested revision: teaching art Why it matters: Art is normally used as an uncountable school-subject name in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- The question whether The question of whether
- significant beneficial
- life lives
- of great significant subjects highly significant subjects
- allows allow
- those these
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its complete coverage of both views and its consistently stated support for art education, with relevant reasons and examples. Its main limitation is recurring awkward or inaccurate language, which reduces precision even though the argument remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to edit collocations, word forms, and subject-verb agreement while developing the career argument with slightly more nuanced explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both positions, gives a clear opinion, and supports the main ideas with relevant explanations and examples.
Develop the opposing view more carefully by acknowledging that art can also lead to viable careers rather than relying on a broad claim about artists.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and the progression from the opposing view to the writer's position is easy to follow.
Use less formulaic signposting and make the logical links between relaxation, transferable skills, and educational outcomes more precise.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but awkward choices such as great significant, radical reasons, and positive emotion recur.
Replace imprecise combinations with natural academic collocations and check whether each adjective, noun, and adverb form fits its sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are mixed effectively, but recurring agreement, article, and structural errors reduce grammatical control.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and clause construction, especially forms such as subjects which allow and skills which may assist.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.