It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by society? Give specific reasons to support your answer and mention relevant examples to support your answer.
Sample Response
Art and science are considered as pillars of our society. Both, an artist and a scientist, play vital roles in the formation of a civilised society. The contributions from these two entities are highly appreciated and welcomed by all in a society. The influences made by their works are commendable. But, concluding on who contributes more would be cumbersome; however, in the present world where invention and innovation are the buzzwords, I think a scientist’s delivery would be valued more.
An artist is highly capable, said to even portray one’s mind. In the past, an artist was an avid source of inspiration for many. An ideal exemplification would be the reference of king DRaja Ravi Varma in Indian scripts, where he was admired by many ladies for his outstanding paintings. The works of world renowned artists like Da Vinci, Othello etc. will need a special mention in this context. The society is acknowledged of its evil faces by artists through their works - a documentary against child labour, celebrities holding hands together against a social cause like AIDS awareness campaigns would serve a few examples.
On the other hand, scientists are under constant effort to bring comfort to our life. The scientific revolution is considered an epic that happened in this century. Through new inventions, they aid society in overcoming the obstacles and challenges faced by their counterparts. Through scientist, we are able to achieve longevity, excellent discoveries avail us with new forms of energy, scientists come up with new ideas to improve our quality of life, almost every day. In addition to this, scientists are behind experiments and research to eliminate all possible threats from our society. Meanwhile, almost all huge machines to tiny kitchen equipment that we use in our daily life have a scientist’s effort behind.
So from the above discussion, my conscientious allows me to favour a scientist than an artist with regards to their contributions to our society. Both these as mentioned earlier are vital for us. An artist acts as a source of inspiration and information, whereas a scientist works as a source of innovations and inventions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect preposition Original: considered as pillars Suggested revision: considered pillars Why it matters: Considered takes a direct complement in this structure without as.
- 2. Fix both construction Original: Both, an artist and a scientist, Suggested revision: Both artists and scientists Why it matters: Both should coordinate two plural noun phrases without these commas.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: The influences made by their works Suggested revision: The influence of their work Why it matters: Influence is exerted or produced rather than made, and the singular form is natural here.
- 4. Remove duplicate contrast Original: But, concluding on who contributes more would be cumbersome; however, Suggested revision: Deciding who contributes more is difficult; however, Why it matters: This avoids stacking two contrasting linkers and replaces an unnatural expression.
- 5. Use the correct noun Original: delivery Suggested revision: contribution Why it matters: Contribution names the social value being compared, whereas delivery does not fit this meaning.
- 6. Repair the verb structure Original: is highly capable, said to even portray Suggested revision: may even be capable of portraying Why it matters: The original sequence lacks a grammatical link between capable and said.
- 7. Correct adjective choice Original: an avid source Suggested revision: a powerful source Why it matters: Avid describes an enthusiastic person and cannot naturally describe a source of inspiration.
- 8. Fix the verb phrase Original: are under constant effort Suggested revision: constantly strive Why it matters: Be under effort is not a grammatical English verb phrase.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: bring comfort to our life Suggested revision: make our lives more comfortable Why it matters: This expresses the intended benefit with a natural collocation and plural reference.
- 10. Choose a suitable noun Original: considered an epic Suggested revision: considered a landmark development Why it matters: Epic normally refers to a long narrative and is unsuitable for a scientific revolution here.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: faced by their counterparts Suggested revision: faced by society Why it matters: Their counterparts has no clear referent and obscures who faces the challenges.
- 12. Use a direct verb Original: scientists are behind experiments and research Suggested revision: scientists conduct experiments and research Why it matters: Conduct precisely states the scientists' role and avoids an informal expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- considered as pillars considered pillars
- Both, an artist and a scientist, Both artists and scientists
- The influences made by their works The influence of their work
- But, concluding on who contributes more would be cumbersome; however, Deciding who contributes more is difficult; however,
- delivery contribution
- is highly capable, said to even portray may even be capable of portraying
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in maintaining a clear preference for scientists while covering contributions from both groups in a recognisable structure. Its main limitation is imprecise development, especially in the arts paragraph, where examples and claims are sometimes inaccurate or unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to use accurate, well-explained examples and express comparisons through more natural vocabulary and reliably controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both groups and states a clear preference, but several supporting examples are inaccurate, unclear, or insufficiently explained.
Use one accurate example for each group and explain explicitly how it demonstrates the contribution and its social value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph organisation gives the discussion a clear overall progression, although some linking is mechanical and several ideas within paragraphs are loosely connected.
Build each body paragraph around one controlling comparison and connect supporting sentences through clear logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward expressions such as favour a scientist than an artist with standard comparative collocations and check word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and sentence boundaries limit control.
Prioritise complete sentence boundaries and accurate clause construction, especially when combining several scientific benefits in one sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by society? Give specific reasons to support your answer and mention relevant examples to support your answer.
Your response
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