The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
Due to the constraints on national budgetslimits of national budgets, many today are fiercely debating the proper level of funding for the arts and education. While some argue that the arts have important historicalhistoric value, I side with those who recognize the societal value of education.
On the one hand, many insist that the arts are an important reminder of national history. A good example of this would be the countless paintings of historic events and key figures that became prominent and fashionable during the Renaissance. These pictures now deepen not only our understanding of those events but also the psychology and values of the individuals who produced or patronised artthe individuals producing and becoming patrons of art at that time. It is therefore likely that art made today will also offer future generations important insights intogive important clues to future generations as to the history and character of their ancestors.
On the other hand, education is key to a nation’s progressthe key for the progress of a nation. This can be most clearly seen in developing countries. After World War II, for instance, South Korea’s economy was decimated and there were few paths towards national stabilitypathways to a stable nation. The government invested massively in education and the result is some of the most important companies in the world were founded ranging from Samsung to LG to Hyundai. These companies contribute to the economy and have greatly raised the standard of living for all citizens. I believe efforts to fund education such as the one described abovelike the one detailed above have a clear and tangible impact.
In conclusion, art is important for its historical valueimportant for its value in terms of history but education is far more importantby far more important for its economic effects. Governments should strike asome balance but prioritise education.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well organised, maintains a clear preference for education, and develops both sides with specific, relevant examples and confident academic language. Its main limitation is that the connection between these benefits and the precise proposal to reduce arts funding could be made more explicit, alongside a few awkward constructions. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the budget trade-off directly throughout the argument and polish isolated grammatical lapses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and consistent, and both the historical value of art and the economic value of education are developed with relevant examples.
Connect each benefit more explicitly to the proposed transfer of government funding and clarify the intended degree of reduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses smoothly through a balanced structure, with focused paragraphs and well-managed referencing and linking.
Make the comparison between the two funding priorities more continuous across the body paragraphs rather than concentrating it in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, despite a small number of less natural collocations.
Refine phrases such as the key for progress and historic value to achieve consistently idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and mostly accurate, with strong control across the response apart from isolated construction errors.
Correct faulty clause combinations such as the result is some companies were founded and review article and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.