It is frequently remarked that success is easy to attain but difficult to maintain. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Every human being desires success from his own perspective. Though success in life is a relative term and could vary greatly from person to person, being able to fulfil dreams and ambitions and being able to be recognised among people is a common definition we can attach to the term success. While a sports personality desire success by doing some ground breaking records in his sports, a new actor can dream to perform in a big budget hit movie as his success. When this actor gains some fame, he might desire to win the Oscar prize and can make it his milestone for success. It is often said that success might be easy to gain but more difficult to maintain and I completely agree with this notion.
First of all, hard work, determination and talent are required to gain success. If we consider a new employee who might expect to reach the higher ladder of his career and works really hard, he might one day fulfil his dream. But the real challenge is in performing the duties as a senior executive and that’s even harder than reaching this position. A singer, movie actor and sportsman can gain fame and success by showing superb performance once and everybody will then look at them and expect them to perform well continuously. This is not that easy and requires even more hard work to maintain the performance. If we look at the movie industries, it is not uncommon that many new actors and actresses show great potential in their early state of career but can’t reach the position they ought to have due to their lack of hard work and determination. Luck often plays its tricks but if we omit the part played by the luck, it remains hard works, determination and excellent performance which become even harder when someone gains popularity.
Second, we all have our short term and long term ambitions and being able to accomplish a goal does not stop us from dreaming even bigger dreams. Being successful for someone does not mean that he can then stop and enjoy his success. It opens new possibilities and responsibilities and to reach the next level, we need to work harder at that stage. Maintaining success means performing excellence all the time which in reality is a very hard to maintain.
Third, the definition of success is ever changing even for a single person. A 10 years old child defines his success by achieving excellent grades and it changes as soon as he enters in his career. The successful students then have to work harder to prove his supremacy among other talented workers. Thus when he attains success and reach in a higher position of a company, he then needs to take even bigger responsibilities. A single blunder can then ruin his career and shatter his dream of further success. This keeps on changing and thus success in different states in life varies. Continuous efforts and works are required to maintain success for a person in his life.
In conclusion, it is indeed true that maintaining success is far more difficult than achieving it as it requires even more hard works and continuous excellent performance in every field.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: desire Suggested revision: desires Why it matters: The singular subject requires the verb “desires.”
- 2. Correct record collocation Original: doing some ground breaking records Suggested revision: breaking records Why it matters: Athletes break records rather than do records.
- 3. Fix number and pronoun Original: in his sports Suggested revision: in their sport Why it matters: A person competes in one sport, and the neutral pronoun avoids an unnecessary gender assumption.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: can dream to perform Suggested revision: may dream of performing Why it matters: The verb “dream” takes “of” followed by a gerund in this meaning.
- 5. Use award name naturally Original: the Oscar prize Suggested revision: an Oscar Why it matters: The conventional expression is “win an Oscar,” without “prize.”
- 6. Correct career metaphor Original: reach the higher ladder of his career Suggested revision: climb the career ladder Why it matters: The fixed metaphor is “climb the career ladder.”
- 7. Use natural structure Original: challenge is in performing the duties as Suggested revision: challenge lies in performing the duties of Why it matters: A challenge “lies in” an action, and duties belong “to” a role.
- 8. Use parallel plurals Original: A singer, movie actor and sportsman Suggested revision: Singers, actors, and athletes Why it matters: Plural parallel nouns match the later plural pronoun “them.”
- 9. Correct performance collocation Original: showing superb performance once Suggested revision: giving one superb performance Why it matters: A performer gives a performance rather than shows performance.
- 10. Use natural adverb order Original: perform well continuously Suggested revision: perform consistently well Why it matters: “Consistently well” is the natural expression for sustained quality.
- 11. Use singular industry noun Original: movie industries Suggested revision: film industry Why it matters: The discussion refers to the industry as a whole, so the singular form is appropriate.
- 12. Correct number and noun Original: early state of career Suggested revision: early stages of their careers Why it matters: Multiple actors have plural careers, and “stages” is the correct noun here.
Suggested Rewrites
- desire desires
- doing some ground breaking records breaking records
- in his sports in their sport
- can dream to perform may dream of performing
- the Oscar prize an Oscar
- reach the higher ladder of his career climb the career ladder
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay’s strongest feature is its unambiguous agreement and sustained use of career, performance, ambition, and responsibility examples to explain why maintaining success is demanding. Its main limitation is excessive length and repetition, compounded by frequent agreement, article, and collocational errors that reduce precision. Prioritise condensing the argument into two distinct reasons and editing recurring forms such as ‘hard work’, ‘perform excellently’, and ‘a ten-year-old child’.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear and consistently supported by several relevant explanations and examples, although the ideas often overlap and become repetitive.
Combine the performance-expectation and expanding-responsibility points, then contrast them with one concise explanation of why initial success may be easier.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses through clearly signposted reasons in logical paragraphs, but repetition and excessive length weaken overall focus and efficiency.
Reduce the introduction and merge overlapping body points so each paragraph advances a genuinely distinct reason.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but frequent inaccurate combinations such as ‘doing records’, ‘higher ladder’, ‘performing excellence’, and ‘hard works’ reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘setting records’, ‘climb the career ladder’, ‘perform excellently’, and ‘hard work’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, plurals, verb forms, and prepositions are noticeable throughout.
Edit every sentence for subject–verb agreement and noun form, especially around singular examples and uncountable nouns.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
It is frequently remarked that success is easy to attain but difficult to maintain. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.