Some people think that changing people's attitudes to other countries and cultures is an important factor in reducing world poverty. Others, however, feel that the most important method is the trade. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is believed that changing people’s perspective and way of thinking to advance a country's culture and habit is an essential factor in reducing the worldwide poverty problem. However, other people disagreedisagree with it and think that increasing trade between countries and regions isincreasing trade activities between countries and regions are more important. This essay will discuss the two opinions in detaildiscuss in details about the two opinions, but I believefrom my point of view, I do believe that both views are important and they should be combined.
On the one hand, some people think that increasing trade volume among nations will reduce global povertythe world poverty issue, especially trade between developing and developed countriespoor and advanced countries. It is a fact that due to the high unemployment rate in developing countriesthird world countries, labour and production costs in these countries are lower than in advanced countries. This condition has attracted so many investors from developed nations in doing trading and investing activities to many third world countries. WhenAnd when trade volume increases, it will automatically create job opportunities for the local people, and gradually reduce unemployment and poverty levelsthe unemployment rate and poverty level.
On the other hand, other people think that the root cause of global povertythe root cause of the world poverty problem is the mindset and attitudes of the people themselves. Many people living in povertyMost of the poor people have a traditional mindset and believe that education is not an important factor for success. As a result, they have a limited outlook and lack skillsa simple mindset and lack of skill which negatively affectwhich definitely affect to their economic conditions. Therefore, it is believed that poor countries should observe and learn the habits and attitudes of people in developed countriesthe habit and the attitude of advanced countries’ people. By learning from them, it is expected that the perspectives of people in poorer countriesthe perspective of the poor countries’ people will gradually change, and it is hoped thatwill gradually change and hoped that their economic conditions will gradually improve. In conclusion, people have argued about how to resolve the world poverty problem. A group of people believe that people in poorer countries should learn from the attitudes of people in developed countriesthe poor countries’ people should learn the way of thinking and attitude of advanced countries’ people, while others think that increasing tradetrades would be the best way to solve the issue.
I personally think that both approaches are valuableboth opinions are favourable and the combination of these two views would definitely reduce global povertyreduce the world poverty.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its logical explanation of how trade and investment can create jobs and reduce poverty in lower-income countries. Its main limitation is a substantial misinterpretation of the other view: changing attitudes toward foreign countries and cultures becomes a claim that poor people have deficient mindsets and should copy richer societies. The highest priority is to reinterpret that view accurately and explain how cross-cultural attitudes might influence aid, cooperation, investment, or fair policy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The trade view is relevantly developed and a combined opinion is stated, but the cultural-attitudes view is substantially misunderstood and stereotyped.
Discuss how people’s perceptions of other nations can encourage international cooperation, fairer relationships, or support for poverty reduction rather than blaming poor populations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a two-view structure with overall progression, but the conclusion begins inside the second body paragraph and is then repeated separately.
Finish the second viewpoint before creating one distinct conclusion that explains how the two approaches would work together.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for trade, investment, unemployment, culture, and poverty, but recurring inaccurate collocations and repetition reduce precision.
Use standard phrases such as ‘global poverty’, ‘trade and investment’, ‘developing countries’, ‘economic opportunities’, and ‘attitudes toward other cultures’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, noun forms, and passive constructions remain noticeable.
Use complete active clauses where possible and check forms such as ‘trade activities are’, ‘a lack of skills affects’, and ‘conditions are expected to improve’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that changing people's attitudes to other countries and cultures is an important factor in reducing world poverty. Others, however, feel that the most important method is the trade. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.