Some activities and sports are harmless and do not involve risks but some others involve risks and dangers and yet people are attracted to these activities. Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? You should
Sample Response
Nowadays many people attracted to dangerous sports and other dangerous activities. From my everyday experience and observation, I think it is a result of dramatic changes in people's life. Just imagine at old times men had to hunt for food, fight, face many challenges and obstacles. Now our days are quite ordinary with a cup of coffee, doughnuts, computers, the desk table and TV. Basically, we do not have to struggle every day for our life and we have nutritious meals without any efforts. So, all we have to do is to contemplate our life. However, I must confess it can be boring. All improvements created for the past centuries made our life easier. Nowadays people look for adventure. They want to face a challenge, prove themselves something, conquer the world, etc. Personally, I think that every person sees different goals in doing dangerous activities. Some people want to add some stress and tension to their lives. From the other side, other people want to eliminate stress and tension gained from their everyday lives. They can forget about all troubles and leave them behind. I believe that dangerous activities give one freedom, happiness, feeling of independence and tone. People who take part in the games like formula one or try to visit the peak of the Mount Everest don’t do it for only fame or money but for the passion. As an example, Mother Merry Courie even after knowing the dangerous effects of radiation worked with it. To sum up, I think that dangerous sports and activities are irreplaceable in our life. Without them out life would be miserable and boring.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing verb Original: many people attracted Suggested revision: many people are attracted Why it matters: The passive construction requires the auxiliary verb “are”.
- 2. Use natural time phrase Original: at old times Suggested revision: in earlier times Why it matters: “In earlier times” is the idiomatic expression for a past period.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive “our” requires “lives” when referring to people collectively.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: efforts Suggested revision: effort Why it matters: “Effort” is uncountable in this expression.
- 5. Remove extra infinitive Original: have to do is to Suggested revision: have to do is Why it matters: After “all we have to do is,” the bare infinitive is the natural construction.
- 6. Match plural reference Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: “Lives” agrees with the plural pronoun “we.”
- 7. Correct object order Original: prove themselves something Suggested revision: prove something to themselves Why it matters: The verb “prove” needs the thing proved before the prepositional indirect object.
- 8. Use contrast linker Original: From the other side Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: “On the other hand” correctly introduces the contrasting motivation.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: tension gained from their everyday lives Suggested revision: tension caused by their everyday lives Why it matters: Tension is more naturally described as being “caused by” daily life.
- 10. Add possessive determiner Original: forget about all troubles Suggested revision: forget about all their troubles Why it matters: “Their” is needed to identify whose troubles are meant.
- 11. Name the activity precisely Original: the games like formula one Suggested revision: sports such as Formula One Why it matters: Formula One is a sport, and “such as” introduces the example more precisely.
- 12. Use climbing collocation Original: visit the peak Suggested revision: reach the summit Why it matters: Climbers “reach the summit” rather than “visit the peak.”
Suggested Rewrites
- many people attracted many people are attracted
- at old times in earlier times
- life lives
- efforts effort
- have to do is to have to do is
- life lives
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a clear central explanation and several relevant motives, especially the search for challenge and relief from routine. Its main limitation is uneven development: some claims are generalized or awkwardly supported, and the Curie example is only loosely connected to dangerous recreation. Prioritize explaining two or three distinct motives in fuller, well-paragraphed detail with directly relevant examples and more controlled sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with several relevant reasons, but support is uneven and one example is only tangentially relevant.
Develop fewer motives more fully and support each one with a clearly connected example of dangerous sport or recreation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a broadly understandable sequence, but the lack of paragraphing and some mechanical transitions weaken progression.
Organize the response into distinct introduction, reason-focused body paragraphs, and conclusion, using transitions that clarify relationships between ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied to discuss risk, challenge, stress, and motivation, although several collocations and word choices are inaccurate.
Improve precision in combinations such as proving oneself, making an effort, and doing something for passion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but recurring errors in articles, verb forms, and prepositions reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for a complete verb phrase and accurate use of articles, plurals, and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some activities and sports are harmless and do not involve risks but some others involve risks and dangers and yet people are attracted to these activities. Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? You should
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.