Using a mobile phone while driving is dangerous because it causes the driver to become distracted. Therefore, mobile phone use by drivers should be made illegal everywhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The use of mobile phones while driving has become a growing concern due to its potential to cause driver distraction and compromise road safety. Consequently, there is a strong argument for making mobile phone use by drivers illegal everywhere. This essay will explore the dangers associated with mobile phone use while driving and argue in favour of the statement.
One compelling reason to support the prohibition of mobile phone use while driving is the significant distraction it poses to drivers. When drivers engage in activities such as texting, making calls, or browsing the internet, their attention is diverted away from the road. This distraction can impair their ability to react promptly to traffic conditions and increases the risk of accidents. For example, a study conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) found that drivers who texted while driving were six times more likely to be involved in a crash compared to those who focused solely on driving.
Another crucial factor supporting the proposition of making mobile phone use by drivers illegal is the pervasiveness of this behaviour and its negative impact on road safety. Despite awareness campaigns and legal restrictions in some jurisdictions, many drivers still engage in this risky behaviour. By implementing a universal ban, it becomes easier to enforce and educate drivers about the dangers of using mobile phones while driving. For instance, countries like Australia and the United Kingdom have implemented strict laws against mobile phone use while driving, resulting in increased compliance and reduced instances of distracted driving. These measures demonstrate the effectiveness of legal restrictions in promoting safer driving practices.
In conclusion, implementing a widespread ban on mobile phone use by drivers is a necessary step to mitigate this risk and enhance road safety. The evidence overwhelmingly supports the assertion that mobile phone use while driving should be made illegal everywhere.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct verb Original: cause driver distraction Suggested revision: distract drivers Why it matters: The direct verb phrase is more concise and natural.
- 2. Use concise academic wording Original: Consequently, there is a strong argument Suggested revision: Consequently, a strong case can be made Why it matters: The revised phrase presents the argument more directly and idiomatically.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: argue in favour of the statement Suggested revision: argue in favour of such a ban Why it matters: Naming the ban avoids the vague reference to “the statement.”
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: the significant distraction it poses to drivers Suggested revision: the substantial distraction it causes Why it matters: A phone use “causes” distraction; “poses” more naturally collocates with a risk or threat.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: diverted away from the road Suggested revision: diverted from the road Why it matters: “Diverted from” already conveys movement away, so “away” is redundant.
- 6. Keep verbs parallel Original: increases Suggested revision: increase Why it matters: After the modal “can,” both coordinated verbs must use the base form.
- 7. Clarify the comparison Original: compared to those who focused solely Suggested revision: than drivers who focused solely Why it matters: The “more likely” comparison is completed naturally with “than” and an explicit noun.
- 8. Use natural policy wording Original: the proposition of making Suggested revision: the proposal to make Why it matters: “Proposal to make” is the more natural construction for a suggested legal change.
- 9. Use formal exemplification Original: countries like Australia Suggested revision: countries such as Australia Why it matters: “Such as” introduces examples more formally than “like.”
- 10. Use fewer with counts Original: reduced Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: “Instances” is a plural count noun, so “fewer” is more precise.
- 11. Clarify the reference Original: mitigate this risk Suggested revision: reduce these risks Why it matters: The plural phrase clearly refers to both distraction and compromised road safety.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: By implementing a universal ban, it becomes easier to enforce and educate drivers about the dangers of using mobile phones while driving. Suggested revision: A universal ban would be easier to enforce and would help educate drivers about the dangers of using mobile phones while driving. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the dangling introductory phrase and supplies clear subjects for both effects.
Suggested Rewrites
- cause driver distraction distract drivers
- Consequently, there is a strong argument Consequently, a strong case can be made
- argue in favour of the statement argue in favour of such a ban
- the significant distraction it poses to drivers the substantial distraction it causes
- diverted away from the road diverted from the road
- increases increase
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay takes a clear, consistent position and supports a universal ban with well-developed arguments about cognitive distraction, enforcement, compliance, and road safety, reinforced by specific evidence. Its strongest feature is precise, logically sequenced support; the main limitation is minor repetition and no consideration of how a ban would treat hands-free or emergency use. Prioritise briefly addressing that boundary to make the universal claim more nuanced and defensible.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position is fully developed through relevant arguments about distraction, crash risk, enforcement, and the demonstrated effect of legal restrictions.
Acknowledge hands-free or emergency use briefly and explain whether these should be exceptions to the proposed universal ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is coherently paragraphed and progresses smoothly from the safety rationale to enforceability and evidence before a concise conclusion.
Reduce repeated references to ‘mobile phone use while driving’ by using controlled substitutes once the subject is firmly established.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise, flexible, and consistently appropriate for road safety, distraction, legislation, and enforcement, with only minor repetition.
Refine the slightly heavy phrase ‘supporting the proposition of making’ to a more direct expression such as ‘supporting a legal ban’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare minor agreement or parallelism lapses that do not affect clarity.
Maintain parallel verb form in ‘can impair … and increase the risk’ and continue checking agreement across coordinated clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Using a mobile phone while driving is dangerous because it causes the driver to become distracted. Therefore, mobile phone use by drivers should be made illegal everywhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.