The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is a fact that advertisements are now widespread in the mass mediaon mass media. Some people believe that advertisementsthese do not serve any useful purposebeneficial purposes and even harm societyspoil the society. There should be restrictions on advertisingan advertising restriction to reduce their negative effectshinder their negative impacts on customers. So everything has its own pros and cons and that is why someone rightly said that all that glitters is not gold.
It is understandable that people want to remove advertisements from our lives because advertisements can be disturbing, therefore the constant display of advertisementsthe pumping out of advertisement on the internet is distractingdistractive when doing research online and the insertion of adsinsertion of ads during TV dramas and movies is obnoxious. Moreover, advertisements are sometimes misleading and cause impulsive purchasespurchase thus the exaggeration and eye-catchingbinding techniques employed in the advertisement overshadow the actual qualities of productsthe true function of products and the consumers, especially the young people, would fall victimvictims to this intense commercial competitionintensive commercial completion.
On the other handside, it is irrefutable that the proponents of advertisingadvertisement argue that it is unfair to ban advertisingadvertisement because it is the only efficient and viable way to show their products. If the advertisement is eradicated then the link between products and consumers would be cut off. Without advertisement, companies would find it hard to reach out to their customers. Consequently, giant companies would manipulate the market and small companies would never be known by the public. Furthermore, advertisement provides more options forto consumers.
To draw the conclusion, I pen down by stating that advertisement is disturbing now and then, there is a genuine need for itthere is realistic need of it. The government should make them more trustworthy. Nowadays, the advertisement is an inescapable and necessary existence.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay considers both the harmful and useful roles of advertising and eventually reaches a sensible rejection of a total ban. Its main limitation is that this position is unclear in the introduction, while frequent awkward vocabulary and run-on sentences make several explanations difficult to follow. Prioritise stating a direct position from the start—regulation rather than prohibition—then express each supporting point in shorter, accurately structured sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are discussed with relevant reasons and the conclusion rejects a total ban, but the introduction gives an ambiguous position and some points are underdeveloped.
State clearly in the introduction that advertising should be regulated rather than banned, then make each body paragraph support that exact position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the essay a recognisable progression, although mechanical linking and long clause chains weaken local coherence.
Use one controlling idea per body paragraph and separate examples, consequences, and contrasts into clearly linked sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to discuss advertising and markets, but frequent inaccurate or strained choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as pumping out of advertisement, eye-binding techniques, and necessary existence with intrusive advertising, attention-grabbing techniques, and commercial necessity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but run-ons, article and number errors, faulty punctuation, and agreement problems recur and sometimes obstruct meaning.
Break the long advertising-harm sentences into complete units and check singular-plural consistency for advertisement, advertisements, consumer, and consumers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.