All types of advertising should be banned because they are damaging to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Advertising has become an inseparable part of modern life, appearing in virtually every form of media. Some people argue that all advertising should be prohibited because of its harmful impact on society. While there are valid concerns about the negative influence of certain advertisements, I believe that a total ban would be impractical and even detrimental.
On the one hand, critics of advertising point to several ways in which it can be damaging. Firstly, advertising often promotes unrealistic standards of beauty and success, which can lead to low self-esteem, especially among young people. For example, cosmetic companies frequently feature heavily edited images, creating unattainable ideals. Advertising also encourages overconsumption and materialism by constantly pushing people to buy things they may not need. This not only fuels personal debt but also contributes to environmental degradation through increased waste and resource exploitation. Equally concerning is the fact that some advertisements target vulnerable groups, such as children, with unhealthy food or misleading claims.
Banning all types of advertising, however, would have significant drawbacks. For one, advertising is a crucial source of revenue for media outlets, allowing them to offer free content to the public. Without it, newspapers, television, and online platforms might struggle to survive, limiting access to information and entertainment. Additionally, responsible advertising helps consumers make informed choices by bringing new products and services to their attention. For example, advertisements for new technologies or healthcare products can educate the public about these useful innovations.
In conclusion, although advertising can have undesirable effects, especially when it promotes harmful stereotypes or excessive consumerism, a complete ban would be counter-productive. Instead, I believe governments should regulate advertising more strictly to minimise its negative impact while preserving its benefits.
This is a strong and well-balanced essay that would comfortably sit at Band 8.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a tighter phrase Original: virtually every form of media Suggested revision: almost every media format Why it matters: This revision expresses the breadth of advertising more concisely.
- 2. Reduce wordiness Original: point to several ways in which it can be damaging Suggested revision: identify several ways it can cause harm Why it matters: The revision conveys the same idea more directly.
- 3. Improve the verb choice Original: feature Suggested revision: use Why it matters: “Use” is more natural when describing images placed in advertisements.
- 4. Use a formal register Original: constantly pushing people Suggested revision: continually encouraging consumers Why it matters: The revision is more precise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 5. Choose a precise noun Original: things Suggested revision: products Why it matters: “Products” identifies the objects of advertising more precisely than “things.”
- 6. Use a precise collocation Original: fuels Suggested revision: increases Why it matters: “Increases personal debt” states the claimed effect more directly.
- 7. Fix faulty coordination Original: target vulnerable groups, such as children, with unhealthy food or misleading claims Suggested revision: target vulnerable groups, such as children, by promoting unhealthy food or making misleading claims Why it matters: Parallel verb phrases clarify how the advertisements target these groups.
- 8. Strengthen the sequence Original: For one Suggested revision: First Why it matters: This connector works more clearly with the later addition introduced by “Additionally.”
- 9. Refine the reference Original: these Suggested revision: such Why it matters: “Such” links the description more naturally to the preceding examples.
- 10. Use a concise collocation Original: inseparable Suggested revision: integral Why it matters: “Integral part” expresses the same importance more concisely.
- 11. Clarify the created standard Original: ideals Suggested revision: standards Why it matters: “Standards” links more precisely to the preceding discussion of beauty and success.
- 12. Avoid an ambiguous adjective Original: offer free content to the public Suggested revision: offer content free of charge to the public Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the content has no financial cost.
Suggested Rewrites
- virtually every form of media almost every media format
- point to several ways in which it can be damaging identify several ways it can cause harm
- feature use
- constantly pushing people continually encouraging consumers
- things products
- fuels increases
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay's strongest feature is its clear, consistently maintained position, supported by a balanced and fluent discussion of both advertising's harms and its social value. The main limitation is that several supporting claims remain broad and familiar, and the final self-assessment is irrelevant to the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen one key example with more specific causal analysis and remove the extraneous closing sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the proposition, sustains a clear disagreement, and develops relevant reasons on both sides, with only the final self-evaluative sentence being irrelevant.
Deepen one supporting example beyond a general illustration and omit commentary about the essay's own quality.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without obscuring progression.
Refine the ending so the conclusion remains the unmistakable final element rather than being followed by an unrelated sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective control of topic-specific language and collocation throughout.
Pursue still greater specificity by replacing a few broad terms with wording tied more closely to the exact mechanisms being discussed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation and agreement consistently well controlled.
Maintain this control while varying the structure of example sentences to make the argument even more stylistically flexible.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
All types of advertising should be banned because they are damaging to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.