4. Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sample Response

1

There is a heated debateheat-discussion on whether the government should forbidden people to participate in those sports which have high risks. Some argue that dangerous sports should be banned but others claimclaimed that people have their own right to choose what to play. From my perspectiveFor my perspectives, all kinds of existing sports items have their unique meanings, but the government should take some action to decrease their fatality ratesdecrease its death rate. Some people think riskyrisk sports should be banned mainly because some of them may cause extremely negativepessimistic social consequence. Many online performances may only focus on subscriptionssubscribtions and readings in which they choose to use exciting sports to catch audience’s interest. These actions may usually do not though a systematical practice and always lead to high death rate. It not only influences people’s attitudes but also cause social disordermake social fuzzy in some case that these actions may always occur in the skyscrapers of city center. But others’ ideas also have significant meanings. They think dangerous sports should be permittedallowed to do as an essential symbolas one of essential symbol of human spiritual qualities. As most of the dangerous sports reflect the determinations of human to challenge and conquer natureconquer the nature. It may also have meaning of commemorating our ancestorsmemorizing to our ancestors. If the government forbidsforbidden these activities, it means we abandon some of our nature to confront obstacles to some extentto confronted with obstacles in some extent. In my opinion it is beneficial for the governmentit benefits for government to encourage all kindskings of sports and activities. But it is also their responsibility to set clear standardsa clearly measurement of the dangerous sports’ athletes. And create a special activity area is also essential. In that way the dangerous sports’ development will walk on a correct path which may spread proper philosophy of its original aspirations. In conclusion, it is our government duty to set more principle for these kinds of high-riskkings of contractive activities. So that it can develop in a healthy way and be adapted by people in societies.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

文章涵盖了题目要求的双边讨论并提出了自己的观点,立意明确且字数达标。然而,文章在逻辑论证的清晰度上有所欠缺,且存在较多拼写、词性及语法结构错误,影响了表达的精准度。建议进一步加强对主旨观点的深入论证,并着重提升词汇拼写与高级句型的准确度。

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

任务回应

6.0
Scoring rule

文章回应了讨论双方观点并给出了个人立场,但部分主旨段落的论据延伸与例证不够清晰充分。

Next step

在论述观点的同时,建议提供更精准、逻辑性更强的例子和解释来支撑主要论点。

CC

连贯与衔接

6.0
Scoring rule

文章整体结构完整,包含了完整的开篇、主体分段和总结,但部分段落衔接词使用略显机械,逻辑推进不够顺畅。

Next step

多使用自然且多样化的过渡词与指代词,增强段落内部及段落之间的连贯性。

LR

词汇资源

5.0
Scoring rule

使用了部分与话题相关的词汇,但拼写错误较多且存在误用词性和固定搭配的情况。

Next step

重点积累高频拼写并规范词性用法,避免出现如 forbidden 代替 ban 或 subscribtions 等拼写与用词错误。

GRA

语法多样性与准确性

5.0
Scoring rule

能够尝试使用多种复合句式,但语法错误较为频繁,包括时态不一致、主谓不一致以及残缺句等。

Next step

加强对基础语法结构和复合句连接词的检查,减少单句中的语法错误以提高语言准确性。

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IELTS Writing Task 2

4. Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your response

Words0
40:00

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