Some people say that non-vegetarian food should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With the advancement in technology and globalisation, every facet of life has transformed and food habits are no exception. Since the beginning of recorded time, people are known hunters, on account of their necessity to food; however, with the revolution in civilisation, there are vehement disputes on prohibiting non-vegetarian cuisine. I believe, meat is an indispensable component of our diets and must not be banned. This opinion is surrounded by various rationales.
To begin with, food items prepared by animal's flesh are known for nutritious ingredients that are almost denied in vegetables. Admittedly, the profuse quantity of unsaturated fats such as Omega-3 is found in red meat only. Broadly speaking, Omega-3 is only fat which is not dissolvable in the body and it is propitious for human health. Thus, eroding non-vegetarian from diets is not beneficial. In addition, animals are vital constituents of the food cycle. Evidently, wilds are a major component of food cycle on earth; therefore they must be utilised to maintain the appropriate balance in the cycle. For an instance, if wild animals are removed from the cycle, the earth will become abundant with animals which may be harmful to nature. Moreover, turning vegetarian will require almost 1/3 of the earth's vegetation to be utilised per year.Thus, migrating towards non-vegetarian food is not providential for earth and denizens.
To sum up, on account of the availability of highly nutritious elements and its presence in food-cycle, it is broadly impossible to remove meat from diet and it's utilisation in diet must be encouraged to retain the natural habitat of earth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix tense and structure Original: people are known hunters Suggested revision: people have been hunters Why it matters: The present-perfect form expresses a condition continuing from the distant past.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: their necessity to food Suggested revision: their need for food Why it matters: Need for food is the natural expression of necessity here.
- 3. Use a clearer phrase Original: the revolution in civilisation Suggested revision: the development of civilisation Why it matters: Revolution does not clearly express the gradual social change intended.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: vehement disputes on prohibiting Suggested revision: intense debate over banning Why it matters: This collocation expresses public disagreement more naturally.
- 5. Remove the comma Original: I believe, meat Suggested revision: I believe meat Why it matters: No comma should separate believe from its content clause.
- 6. Remove the possessive Original: animal's Suggested revision: animal Why it matters: Animal functions as a general noun modifier and should not be possessive.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: are known for nutritious ingredients Suggested revision: are known to contain nutrients Why it matters: Foods contain nutrients rather than being known for ingredients in this context.
- 8. Correct the word choice Original: almost denied in vegetables Suggested revision: largely absent from vegetables Why it matters: Denied cannot describe nutrients that vegetables do not contain.
- 9. Fix quantity agreement Original: the profuse quantity of unsaturated fats Suggested revision: large quantities of unsaturated fats Why it matters: The plural countable reference fats requires quantities rather than quantity.
- 10. Add the article Original: Omega-3 is only fat Suggested revision: Omega-3 is the only fat Why it matters: The superlative-like expression only requires the definite article here.
- 11. Use the standard adjective Original: dissolvable Suggested revision: soluble Why it matters: Soluble is the standard adjective for a substance that can dissolve.
- 12. Clarify the object Original: eroding non-vegetarian from diets Suggested revision: removing non-vegetarian food from diets Why it matters: Eroding cannot describe eliminating a type of food from a diet.
Suggested Rewrites
- people are known hunters people have been hunters
- their necessity to food their need for food
- the revolution in civilisation the development of civilisation
- vehement disputes on prohibiting intense debate over banning
- I believe, meat I believe meat
- animal's animal
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear opposition to a ban and offers relevant lines of argument about nutrition and the food chain. However, the ecological reasoning becomes contradictory or insufficiently supported, and frequent inaccurate word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one logically sound reason at a time with convincing explanation, while using more natural vocabulary and carefully controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant reasons are presented, but the ecological argument is partly unclear and inadequately substantiated.
Develop each reason with a coherent cause-and-effect explanation and avoid unsupported statistics or contradictory claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognisable introduction, body, and conclusion, but the single body paragraph contains several loosely connected claims.
Separate the nutrition and ecological arguments into focused paragraphs with clearer progression from claim to explanation and example.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices and collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Use precise, familiar expressions for diet and ecology instead of forcing words such as eroding, providential, or denizens.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed, yet recurring errors with articles, agreement, possessives, and sentence construction remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and proofread noun phrases, articles, pronoun agreement, and possessive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that non-vegetarian food should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.