Tobacco and alcohol are drugs that cause addiction and health problems. Therefore they should be made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Cigarettes and alcohol negatively influence human health and lead to severe addictionvery bad addiction. While some people believe that smoking and drinking alcohol do not have such a detrimental effectthat much detriment effect on health and should be sold freely, I firmly believe that tobaccosmoking and alcohol are drugs that lead to health problems and addiction and, as a result, they should be prohibited. First of all, tobacco is a silent killer not only for smokers but also for people nearbyaround. Smoking is known to causeknown as a cause of more than 25 different deadly diseases including lung cancer, bronchitis and emphysema. According to the recent statistics, four million people around the world die each yeardie yearly from tobacco-related diseases - one death every eight seconds. Tobacco is becoming an increasingly significant causesignificantly becoming a greater cause of death and disability than any other single cause. Therefore, smoking cigarettes is a huge global threat and should be illegal. The number of female and young smokers is increasing globally and completely banning cigarettes could be an effective measure to enhance public health. The amount of money a country spendsspend each year to treat people who suffer from tobacco-related diseases could be better utilised to treat other patients. The next point that needs to be taken into consideration is alcohol that has already become a serious problem over recent centuriesduring the last centuries. More and more people use alcohol every day and sometimes not only a glass of wine during the evening but also far more than usual. As a result, these people become unhealthythis group of people becomes unhealthy. Moreover, drinking too much alcohol can lead to more serious problems such as brain damage and can even causeand even can cause separation from a partnera separation with the partner and break a family. Moreover, children suffer greatly because ofstruggle a lot from parents who abuse alcoholdrunkard parents. Therefore, alcohol should be banned globally. The negative health and social problems the alcohol creates are enormous and the banning it will bring more social stability, morality and better life expectancy. To sum up, from my point of view, cigarettes and alcohol are two of the greatest threatstwo greatest threats to societyto the society and our health. They lead to various problems and harm not only individuals who use themit but also others around themothers, surrounding them. I believe that people can live their lives more happily without those heinous drugs and substancessubstance.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear case for prohibition and develops substantial health and social arguments for both tobacco and alcohol, with the tobacco evidence offering its strongest support. Its main limitation is that the alcohol discussion is less precise, while the entire essay is presented as one block and recurring language errors reduce polish. Prioritise distinct tobacco and alcohol paragraphs with more measured evidence and accurate cause-and-effect phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained through relevant health, financial, and social arguments for banning both substances, with stronger tobacco development.
Support the alcohol argument with a specific, credible example and explain more directly why prohibition would be effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning moves recognisably from tobacco to alcohol and a conclusion, but the single-block format and repetition weaken organisation.
Use separate introduction, tobacco, alcohol, and conclusion paragraphs with one clear controlling claim in each.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of health and policy vocabulary, although several collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Refine phrases such as 'detriment effect', 'children struggle from', 'the banning it', and 'heinous drugs and substance'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures communicates meaning clearly overall, despite recurring errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, and clause construction.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural pronoun reference, especially when discussing countries, substances, and affected people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tobacco and alcohol are drugs that cause addiction and health problems. Therefore they should be made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.