Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable, and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Preserving local culture amidst the influx of tourism poses a significant dilemma, inviting contrasting perspectives on whether banning tourism in certain areas is a viable solution or if it should be open as changes will ultimately take place. This essay will explore both views. In my opinion, restricting tourism in specific locations is crucial for safeguarding local culturescrucial to safeguarding and nurturing the essence of local cultures.
On the one hand, proponents argue that change is an inevitable partfacet of progress and development. They assert that banning tourism in particular areas would not halt the evolution of cultures but merely delay the inevitable. For instance, technological advancements and globalization have significantly altered cultural landscapes worldwide, rendering complete preservation challenging. Such changes have taken placeSuch changes took place even in countries such as Japanplaces like Japan which was closedclose to foreigners for many decades.
Conversely, advocates for banning tourism in select regions emphasize the potentiallypotential detrimental impact on local cultures due to the commodification and homogenization of traditions. The overwhelming influx of tourists can lead to the exploitation and commercialization of cultural practices, transforming them into mere entertainment spectaclesmere spectacles for entertainment. The delicate balance between tradition and tourism can be observed in Bali, where excessive tourism has significantly affectedimpacted the island's cultural integrity, eroding its authenticity.
I agree with the viewI align with the viewpoint that restricting tourism in specific areas is essential to protect and sustain local cultures. Controlled access can ensure that cultural practices and traditions remain authentic and are not overshadowed by the commercial interests of tourism.
In conclusion, while change is inevitable, safeguarding local cultures from the adverse impacts of mass tourism remains a paramount concern. Selective limitations on tourism in certain areas can serve as protective measuresserve as a protective shield, preserving the authenticity and richness of indigenous cultures for future generations.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its balanced, clearly organised discussion, supported by relevant examples from Japan and Bali and a consistent personal position. Its main limitation is that the case for restriction is asserted more than critically developed, while a few awkward or inaccurate phrases reduce polish. Prioritise explaining how controlled access would work and why it would outperform less restrictive cultural protections.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed with relevant examples, and the writer's position is clear throughout, although its practical justification could be developed further.
Explain how selective restrictions would operate and compare their effectiveness with alternative ways of protecting local culture.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the contrast and conclusion effectively.
Integrate the short opinion paragraph with fuller supporting reasoning so that it contributes more strongly to the overall progression.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide, precise range of topic vocabulary, with only occasional awkward or slightly overstated phrasing.
Replace imprecise expressions such as open as changes will take place with concise, natural formulations of the opposing view.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, with only isolated local errors that do not affect communication.
Check subordinate clauses and relative constructions carefully to remove the few remaining awkward grammatical combinations.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable, and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.