Many young people do not enjoy competitive sports because they’re afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Opinions are divided on whether competitive sports should be prohibited because some young people avoid these activities due to their fear of failure. Although competitive environments can create pressure for certain individuals, I strongly disagree with the idea that sports competitions should be banned, as their long-term benefits far outweigh this drawbackare far more significant.
Those who support the prohibition of competitive sports may have several arguments. They may well argue that such activities can discourage young people from participating in sports. This is becauseThe reason for this is that competitions often place considerable pressure on individuals to winachieve victory, which can make some young athletes anxious about losing or being negatively judged by others. For example, some students may worry about criticism from their peers after performing poorly, leading them to avoid enteringjoining school tournaments altogether. Nevertheless, this argument does not always hold true because competitive pressure can be reduced through supportive environments. With proper coaching and encouragement, young people can learn to view failure as a valuable learning opportunity, thereby maintaining their enthusiasm for sports.
In my opinion, continuing to hold sports competitions is preferablemaintaining sports competitions is more advantageous for several reasons. Chief among these is that competitive sports help develop resilience and other important personal skillsimportant personal skills. By being exposed to challenges and setbacks, young people can gradually build perseverance and emotional strength. For instance, athletes who experience defeatdefeats are often encouraged to analyse their mistakes and improve over timemake improvements over time, which contributes to their personal growth. Another benefit isAnother benefit worth mentioning is that competitions can motivate individuals to improve their athletic performance. Since tournaments provide clear goals, participants are more likely to practise consistently and strive for higher standards. Young athletes, for example, may put moregreater effort into training before competitions, allowing them to enhance their physical abilities and teamwork skills.
In conclusion, while competitive sports may cause some young people to fear failure and reduce their willingness to participate, I believe that banning these activities would be an inappropriate solution. Instead, competitions should be maintained because they foster resilience and encourage continuous improvement among young individuals.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly addresses the proposal, sustains a clear position, and develops both the concern about fear of failure and the benefits of competition with relevant examples. Its main limitation is a somewhat formulaic progression and occasional repetition of key terms, which slightly reduces naturalness and precision. The highest-priority improvement is to vary the argument's phrasing and make the evaluation of why support is preferable to prohibition even more incisive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit and fully sustained, with relevant counterargument, rebuttal, and supporting reasons developed in depth.
Sharpen the comparative evaluation by explaining more explicitly why supportive coaching is a better remedy than prohibition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced and cohesive, with well-controlled paragraphing and clear internal progression.
Make transitions slightly less formulaic so the movement between claims, examples, and evaluation feels more organic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, accurate, and well suited to the argument, though central terms recur fairly often.
Vary repeated references to competitions, young people, and benefits while retaining the current precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and accurately throughout, with sentences remaining clear and well controlled.
Refine stylistic economy by shortening a few heavily layered sentences where the same meaning can be expressed more directly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many young people do not enjoy competitive sports because they’re afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.