Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? What is your view on this? What do you prefer?
Sample Response
It must be admitted that education is the first route a student take to build his future. Some students prefer to pursue their study overseas while others want to further their study in their countries. Undoubtedly, studying abroad has its advantages and disadvantages. For many reasons, which will be discussed in this essay, I strongly believe that the advantages are far more than the disadvantages.
One advantage of studying abroad is mingling with the different types of the cultures and customs of that country. To illustrate, when a student travels abroad for study, he will be completely exposed to positive traditions and cultures of such people. Consequently, he will get useful benefits from such customs when he returns to his homeland. One example for that is my friend who, before one year, travelled to a country for the purpose of the study. There, he acquired many positive things from that country such as respect of regulations and the kind treatment of people. Therefore, when he came back to his country, his family was immensely affected by his new positive merits to the point that it begins to apply them.
Another advantage of studying overseas is the massive benefits a student gets in his major. In fact, he will encounter the elite professors and academics from which he will acquire a good knowledge and experience in his field. Accordingly, the student will spend less time studying his major due to those highly educated professors. Hence, it can be said that such student will be highly respected by his people when he returns to his home. Moreover, his immense knowledge and experience will dramatically contribute to the growth and development of his country.
From the other side, it can be found that travelling abroad has minor negative effects on the students; some of which are getting involved in unethical activities or abusing drugs. Those bad things might make the students deviate from their original morals and traditions. However, this mainly depends on the student himself. If he follows these bad routes, he will not concentrate on his study anymore. Therefore, he will acquire the bad habits instead of his golden goal, namely study. Also, his future and previous aspirations will be utterly lost.
In conclusion, studying abroad has its pros and cons. However, as I stated above, that the advantages are the prominent feature. Subsequently, every student, if intended to study overseas, should pick out the good and beneficial merits from that country and extremely abstain from the ugly habits or customs. Accordingly, will get a multicultural educated and prosperous generation of which we will greatly proud.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: take Suggested revision: takes Why it matters: The singular subject “a student” requires the third-person singular verb “takes.”
- 2. Use inclusive reference Original: his Suggested revision: their Why it matters: Singular “they” avoids assuming that every student is male.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: study Suggested revision: studies Why it matters: “Studies” is the natural plural noun for a student's course of education.
- 4. Fix noun phrase Original: further their study in their countries Suggested revision: further their studies in their own countries Why it matters: The plural noun is required, and “own” clarifies the reference to each student's home country.
- 5. Fix comparison Original: the advantages are far more than the disadvantages Suggested revision: the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages Why it matters: “Outweigh” is the natural verb for comparing the relative importance of advantages and disadvantages.
- 6. Fix collocation Original: mingling with the different types of the cultures Suggested revision: experiencing different cultures Why it matters: “Experiencing cultures” expresses cultural exposure naturally without unnecessary determiners.
- 7. Use infinitive purpose Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The infinitive clearly and concisely expresses the purpose of travelling.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: get useful benefits from such customs Suggested revision: benefit from these customs Why it matters: The verb “benefit” avoids the redundant phrase “get useful benefits.”
- 9. Fix preposition Original: One example for that Suggested revision: One example of this Why it matters: The noun “example” takes “of” when referring to the idea it illustrates.
- 10. Use correct time phrase Original: before one year Suggested revision: a year ago Why it matters: “A year ago” is the standard expression for a point one year before the present.
- 11. Simplify purpose phrase Original: for the purpose of the study Suggested revision: to study Why it matters: The infinitive expresses the purpose correctly without unnecessary articles.
- 12. Fix preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun “respect” takes the preposition “for” in this meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- take takes
- his their
- study studies
- further their study in their countries further their studies in their own countries
- the advantages are far more than the disadvantages the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages
- mingling with the different types of the cultures experiencing different cultures
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear preference and develops two benefits with relevant explanation and an extended personal example. Its main limitation is that the drawback discussion is narrow, moralistic, and less convincingly supported, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken clarity. Prioritise developing realistic academic, financial, or emotional disadvantages, then revise sentence structure, agreement, articles, and word combinations throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers all parts and clearly prefers studying abroad, but the disadvantages are less developed and rely on a narrow moral-risk claim.
Develop a realistic drawback such as cost, homesickness, or academic adjustment and weigh it directly against the stated benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a recognisable progression with focused body paragraphs, although linking is sometimes mechanical and development is uneven.
Balance the body sections more evenly and use transitions that clarify logical relationships rather than merely announce the next point.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise expressions reduce flexibility and accuracy.
Replace phrases such as "golden goal," "ugly habits," and "massive benefits" with precise academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted frequently, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, clause structure, and sentence completeness reduce control.
Revise each sentence for a complete subject and verb, then check agreement, articles, and relative-clause construction.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? What is your view on this? What do you prefer?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.