In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples.
Sample Response
In many countries the age at which one is considered a legal adult is typically 18, but in some other countries one's legal adulthood only starts when he or she turns 21. What defines a legal adult is the ability to legally work, participate in contracts, vote, marry, give sexual consent, and join the military. However, I personally think that the proper age of being an adult should be 21. In this essay, I am going to explain the reasons for this stand.
First, although one might assume that most 18-year-olds have reached maturity, research has shown that adolescence actually extends into the early 20s. An 18-year-old's mindset is not fully maturing. They are young adults on their way to explore the world, to experience and to learn new things. Thus, some of them try to act cool like women and men when they do not even know how to handle responsibilities as adults. For example, they go clubbing and drinking but never learn about the consequences. Accident statistics in many states in the U.S. showed a substantial jump in the number of drunken driving accidents involving 18 to 20-year-olds.
Second, in reality, most young adults are still in high school when they are 18 years old and they do not have a job. Therefore, they are not ready for all of the physical and mental challenges that go along with being an adult such as raising a family or supporting themselves. For many parents, the term legal adult does not mean their children possess certain adult characteristics. For example, being an adult implies being able to make mature decisions, participate in civic matters, have self-control, and be responsible. Some 18-year-olds simply lack these characteristics and need further time to develop them. It is quite clear that when children turn to 21 years old, they have already been in colleges and have had some life experiences, therefore, they understand how to responsible for their actions.
In conclusion, 18-year-olds are not matured enough to be considered adults. The best age should be 21 when one is better prepared to take on adult responsibilities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: In many countries the age Suggested revision: In many countries, the age Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory prepositional phrase from the main clause.
- 2. Remove redundant qualifier Original: some other countries Suggested revision: other countries Why it matters: "Other" already establishes the contrast, so "some" is unnecessary here.
- 3. Avoid repeated legal Original: ability to legally work Suggested revision: right to work Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating "legal" immediately after "legal adult" and states the entitlement directly.
- 4. Use contract collocation Original: participate in contracts Suggested revision: enter into contracts Why it matters: The established legal expression is "enter into contracts".
- 5. Use precise phrase Original: proper age of being an adult Suggested revision: appropriate age for legal adulthood Why it matters: The revision states the age threshold more naturally and precisely.
- 6. Use position Original: stand Suggested revision: position Why it matters: "Position" is the natural academic noun for the view being defended.
- 7. Use past participle Original: is not fully maturing Suggested revision: has not fully matured Why it matters: The present perfect expresses incomplete development up to the age of eighteen.
- 8. Fix verb pattern Original: on their way to explore Suggested revision: still exploring Why it matters: "On their way to" suggests movement toward a future action rather than an ongoing developmental process.
- 9. Clarify parallel verbs Original: to experience and to learn new things Suggested revision: gaining experience and learning new things Why it matters: The revised gerund pair is parallel and gives "experience" a clear grammatical role.
- 10. Use precise comparison Original: act cool like women and men Suggested revision: act like mature adults Why it matters: The original informal phrase does not clearly express imitation of adult behaviour.
- 11. Clarify consequence awareness Original: never learn about the consequences Suggested revision: fail to consider the consequences Why it matters: The issue described is failure to consider outcomes, not failure to learn that consequences exist.
- 12. Use standard term Original: drunken driving accidents Suggested revision: drink-driving accidents Why it matters: "Drink-driving" is the standard British English modifier for accidents involving an intoxicated driver.
Suggested Rewrites
- In many countries the age In many countries, the age
- some other countries other countries
- ability to legally work right to work
- participate in contracts enter into contracts
- proper age of being an adult appropriate age for legal adulthood
- stand position
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, consistent choice of 21 and supports it with relevant arguments about psychological maturity, financial independence, and responsibility, including concrete examples. Its main limitation is that several claims about 18- and 21-year-olds are broad or insufficiently qualified, while recurring language errors reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to develop a more balanced comparison using credible evidence and carefully controlled sentence forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The chosen age is explicit and supported by two relevant, extended reasons and examples, though some generalisations are overstated.
Qualify broad claims and explain why 21 provides a better legal threshold despite individual differences in maturity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two distinct reasons, and a concise conclusion, with generally effective sequencing.
Reduce minor repetition within the second body paragraph and connect each example more tightly to its controlling reason.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of vocabulary for legal adulthood, maturity, responsibility, and civic participation, despite several awkward collocations.
Use natural expressions such as reach adulthood, become fully mature, assume responsibility, and gain life experience.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring tense, verb-form, preposition, and sentence-joining errors reduce accuracy.
Check participle forms and verb complements carefully, particularly in sentences describing age, development, and responsibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, young people at the age of 18 are considered adults and can drive a car, vote and get married, while other countries don't allow it. What age do you think is the best to be considered an adult? Give reasons and examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.