In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?
Sample Response
The age standard for children in entering formal school has inevitably been a controversial issue whether it is more effective to send children to school at four years old or seven or even eight years old. I personally believeI personally agree to say that children need to be sent to school at age foursent to school earlier at four years old for several reasonsin terms of several reasons. The first reason is that children tend to have a crucial developmental perioda golden age period at the age of three or four. This periodcondition is believed to beis believed as the most effective year for children to start learning about and understandingstart learning as well as understanding their environment. Moreover, this age standard has been successfully implemented by Finland education system which is currently claimed as the best education system in the world. Another importantconsiderable reason is that parents can reduce the time children spendlessen the time for children to play at home on computersin front of the computers which canclearly harm them physically and psychologically as well as create a certain disorder. In addition, sending children to school at an early age will not eliminatewill not totally erase the children’s time to play, because schoolsplay because a school provides them with effective teaching methods that combine learning and playan effective teaching method which focuses on learning and playing. In other wordsIn the other words, children can have timetend to achieve time to learn and play at the same time proportionally. On the other hand, people who believe that sending children to formal school at four years old consider several points of views in terms of the maturity of children psychology and brain which claimed inappropriate time to be forced with a certain lesson at school. In short, parents and schools should collaborate effectivelycreate a good collaboration and cooperation each other in order to avoid several drawbacks caused by this approachthis affirmative action.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response states an early preference for starting school at four and offers several relevant reasons, so its central direction is generally apparent. However, the argument is compressed into one paragraph, some support is questionable or insufficiently explained, and the ending does not clearly reaffirm the stated position; recurring language errors further reduce precision. Organise the ideas into developed body paragraphs and finish with a direct, consistent conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear initial preference and several relevant reasons are presented, but support is uneven and the conclusion does not directly confirm the position.
Develop two reliable reasons in depth and restate the exact extent of agreement in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Sequencing words indicate a basic line of argument, but the single-paragraph format and some inconsistent links weaken overall progression.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, the opposing view, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss education and development, but frequent collocational and word-form errors make expression awkward.
Replace unnatural phrases with precise academic combinations and check singular, plural, and possessive noun forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but recurring errors in clauses, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Use shorter complete sentences while checking that every clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.