You can get up-to-date news from the radio, TV and the Internet. Which kind of media do you think is the best to get the news?
Sample Response
Nowadays, there are several channels to get news, such as the radio, TV, newspapers and the Internet. I think the Internet is the best among these. In my essay, I am going to explain why.
Since its invention, the Internet has been booming as a prospective industry. Not only because it is a combination of text, audio and video, but also due to its convinience. It has threatened the domination of spreading news of the traditional media, and, I would say, is about to take control. We can find everything we want on the Internet – the latest news, books, songs, movies, cartoons… whatever. With the radio, we can merely hear. Compared to a newspaper, the radio and TV can provide the latest information. For instance the breaking news of the Americans’ attacking Iraq was immediately availalbe online, as well as that the Twin Towers of New York were destroyed on September 11, 2001. However, we just cannot carry TV 24/7.
The Internet is a convinient way of getting information, as long as your mobile phone is connected or you possess a laptop. When I am on a vehicle, I usually have my cellphone connected to the Internet, then browse through what happend in the past few hours, or log in MSN to begin a conversation with my friends. Reading a newspaper is also a good way to kill time, but for me, a youngster, it is not so modern as “surfing online while commuting”.
The traditional media will never disappear, though the Internet has taken a big advantage in the competition. And definitely, there is still a long way for the Internet to go. Anyway, the Internet benefits me the most, and I highly appreciate it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: channels to get news Suggested revision: sources of news Why it matters: “Sources of news” is the more natural phrase for the media listed.
- 2. Clarify description Original: booming as a prospective industry Suggested revision: expanding rapidly as a promising medium Why it matters: The Internet is a medium rather than an industry in this comparison.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: cartoons… whatever Suggested revision: cartoons and more Why it matters: “Whatever” is too conversational and vague for this academic context.
- 4. Fix verb choice Original: can merely hear Suggested revision: can only listen Why it matters: People listen to the radio; “hear” does not express the intended deliberate activity.
- 5. Use consistent plural Original: Compared to a newspaper Suggested revision: Compared with newspapers Why it matters: The plural form gives a consistent general comparison between media types.
- 6. Add article Original: carry TV Suggested revision: carry a television Why it matters: The singular countable noun requires an article.
- 7. Correct spelling Original: convinient Suggested revision: convenient Why it matters: The correct spelling is “convenient.”
- 8. Complete the condition Original: is connected or you possess a laptop Suggested revision: has an Internet connection or you have a laptop Why it matters: The revision states what the phone must be connected to and uses a natural parallel verb.
- 9. Use correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “In” is the natural preposition for travelling inside a nonspecific vehicle.
- 10. Join actions correctly Original: connected to the Internet, then browse Suggested revision: connected to the Internet and then browse Why it matters: The conjunction “and” is needed to coordinate the consecutive actions.
- 11. Correct spelling Original: happend Suggested revision: happened Why it matters: The past tense of “happen” is spelled “happened.”
- 12. Add preposition Original: log in MSN Suggested revision: log in to MSN Why it matters: The phrasal construction requires “to” before the service name.
Suggested Rewrites
- channels to get news sources of news
- booming as a prospective industry expanding rapidly as a promising medium
- cartoons… whatever cartoons and more
- can merely hear can only listen
- Compared to a newspaper Compared with newspapers
- carry TV carry a television
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear preference for the Internet and supports it with understandable points about immediacy, multimedia content, and portability. Development is uneven, however, because some examples drift toward entertainment or personal communication and several comparisons remain brief. The highest-priority improvement is to build two tightly focused reasons about obtaining news, explain each fully, and support them with accurate, relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear answer is maintained and relevant reasons are offered, but some support is insufficiently developed or only loosely related to news.
Develop each advantage of online news with a precise explanation and a directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall structure, though some ideas are loosely sequenced and connections within body paragraphs are occasionally abrupt.
Give each body paragraph one controlling reason and arrange its explanation, comparison, and example in a clear sequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but spelling errors and awkward collocations recur.
Check common spellings and replace unnatural phrases with precise combinations such as access news and gain an advantage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the main ideas, although fragments, faulty clauses, and punctuation errors occur regularly.
Practise forming complete complex sentences and check conjunctions, comparatives, and comma boundaries during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You can get up-to-date news from the radio, TV and the Internet. Which kind of media do you think is the best to get the news?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.