Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion. As a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?
Sample Response
Big corporations and international brands spend a large sum of money on marketing and advertising. Consequently, people tend to buy their products while small local businesses fail to reach potential customers. This can lead to serious problems; such as the closure of local businesses, unemployment and the monopoly in the market. There are a few steps that can be adopted to address this issue and motivate people to buy local products.
Naturally, consumers prefer to buy products that were consciously and unconsciously promulgated to their minds by large brands. Due to this, many local businesses, even with their quality products, cannot attract customers. The dominance of international brands thus ruins local business entities. As a consequence, many small local companies run out of business, and it can make thousands of people unemployed. Moreover, creative and deceptive advertisements and marketing policies of big players create a monopoly in the market which traps many consumers in believing that bigger brands mean prestige and quality. For instance, the dominance of international clothing and fashion brands had swept away many local businesses in many Asian countries, including our family business, and money spent on advertisement played a big role here.
To encourage people to purchase local products, some measures should be taken into account. The government should strictly monitor and ban any deceptive and illusory advertisements from the mass media while also supporting local manufacturers financially and through training programmes. For example, training programme initiatives in many Indian states have revived the local businesses in the last few years and many struggling local businesses are doing excellent.
To conclude, the absolute dominance of large businesses can have many negative effects that can damage the market and economy of a country. A solution to this problem is systematising local markets and creating a closely integrated system that can have an effective outcome.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix punctuation Original: problems; such as Suggested revision: problems, such as Why it matters: A comma, rather than a semicolon, should introduce the examples here.
- 2. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: This is the first mention of a nonspecific monopoly, so the indefinite article is needed.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: promulgated to their minds Suggested revision: impressed upon their minds Why it matters: The original verb does not naturally describe how advertising influences consumers' thoughts.
- 4. Clarify concession Original: even with their quality products Suggested revision: despite the quality of their products Why it matters: Despite correctly expresses the contrast between product quality and the failure to attract customers.
- 5. Correct business phrase Original: run Suggested revision: go Why it matters: Go out of business is the standard expression for a company that closes permanently.
- 6. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it can make thousands of people unemployed Suggested revision: this can leave thousands of people unemployed Why it matters: This clearly refers to the preceding business closures and forms a more natural causative expression.
- 7. Correct verb pattern Original: traps many consumers in believing Suggested revision: leads many consumers to believe Why it matters: Lead someone to believe is the natural verb pattern for causing a belief.
- 8. Correct tense choice Original: had Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The present perfect suits a past development whose effects remain relevant now.
- 9. Use uncountable noun Original: advertisement Suggested revision: advertising Why it matters: Advertising is the appropriate uncountable noun for promotional activity in general.
- 10. Use an adverb Original: excellent Suggested revision: excellently Why it matters: The verb doing requires the adverb excellently rather than the adjective excellent.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: steps that can be adopted Suggested revision: measures that can be taken Why it matters: Measures are normally taken rather than adopted in this context.
- 12. Use formal wording Original: marketing policies of big players Suggested revision: marketing strategies of large companies Why it matters: This wording is more precise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- problems; such as problems, such as
- the a
- promulgated to their minds impressed upon their minds
- even with their quality products despite the quality of their products
- run go
- it can make thousands of people unemployed this can leave thousands of people unemployed
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear explanation of how large brands can displace local firms and contribute to unemployment and market dominance. Its main weakness is that the proposed remedies are much less fully developed, and the conclusion introduces a vague idea about systematising markets without explaining it. Prioritise expanding one or two practical measures with clear mechanisms and specific outcomes, while refining several awkward collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with a clear account of business closures, unemployment and monopoly, although the solutions receive less development.
Develop one or two proposed measures by explaining precisely how each would increase demand for local products.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the problem and solution sections, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Make the conclusion directly consolidate the developed remedies instead of introducing the vague new idea of systematising markets.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports precise discussion of marketing and economic effects, despite several awkward or inaccurate collocations.
Replace unnatural combinations such as promulgated to their minds and doing excellent with idiomatic, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is generally well controlled, though occasional punctuation, agreement and form errors remain.
Proofread clause boundaries and agreement carefully, especially around semicolons, pronoun reference and adjective-adverb forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion. As a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.