Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
School curriculum planning differs according to the teaching goal. Some choose to provide general education covering a wide range of subjects while in others, older school children are offered fewer courses in the specific field. From my perspective, the former idea is more reasonable.
Admittedly, specializing in specific subjects enables school students to lay a concrete foundation in their chosen filed. Since they can put endeavors and devote themselves to certain courses, chances are that a deep understanding can be obtained and accordingly more contributions made with sufficient expertise. The education pattern allows older school children to reach a basis and gain a competitive edge in further study.
However, older school children are too immature to decide the focused future path, especially when the demands in the job market are constantly changing. Therefore, from my point of view, exposure to a wide range of subjects can equip students with the adaptability in modern society. For one thing, the course setting offers school students, those full of curiosity, opportunities to explore possibilities. Considering that students can seize the chance to acquire knowledge in different fields, they are more likely to discover and foster their real interests, which means their decision on future directions can be more rational and thus leading to bright future prospects. For another, learning various subjects prepares older school children with multiple perspectives to perceive the world. As each course represents the unique thinking mode, after receiving a well-rounded education and exploring different fields, students can be cultivated to become comprehensive talents from an early age, which are especially demanded in the fierce competition.
Given the arguments above, although specialization in a small number of subjects clarifies the direction for older school children, I suppose developing knowledge in an extensive range should be given due priority.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: concrete Suggested revision: solid Why it matters: 'Lay a solid foundation' is the conventional collocation in this context.
- 2. Correct spelling Original: filed Suggested revision: field Why it matters: 'Filed' is a spelling error for the intended noun 'field'.
- 3. Use precise term Original: The education pattern Suggested revision: This educational approach Why it matters: 'Educational approach' refers more naturally to the previously described model of study.
- 4. Correct collocation Original: reach a basis Suggested revision: build a foundation Why it matters: Students build a foundation rather than reach a basis.
- 5. Use plural noun Original: study Suggested revision: studies Why it matters: The plural 'studies' is the natural form for future academic work in general.
- 6. Improve word choice Original: decide the focused future path Suggested revision: choose a focused future path Why it matters: People choose a path; they do not normally decide a path.
- 7. Add defining phrase Original: the adaptability in modern society Suggested revision: the adaptability needed in modern society Why it matters: The defining phrase makes clear what kind of adaptability is meant.
- 8. Use clearer term Original: the course setting Suggested revision: this curriculum Why it matters: 'Curriculum' is a clearer term for the set of subjects offered by a school.
- 9. Simplify apposition Original: school students, those full of curiosity, Suggested revision: curious school students Why it matters: The replacement removes the awkward interrupting apposition while preserving the description.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: foster their real interests Suggested revision: develop their genuine interests Why it matters: People develop interests, while 'foster' is less natural with a possessive object here.
- 11. Fix number and preposition Original: their decision on future directions Suggested revision: their decisions about future directions Why it matters: The plural noun and 'about' agree with the general reference to multiple students and choices.
- 12. Restore verb agreement Original: leading Suggested revision: lead Why it matters: The verb must coordinate with 'can be' rather than take the participle form.
Suggested Rewrites
- concrete solid
- filed field
- The education pattern This educational approach
- reach a basis build a foundation
- study studies
- decide the focused future path choose a focused future path
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly discusses both educational approaches and sustains a reasoned preference for a broad curriculum, with the strongest development appearing in the exploration and adaptability arguments. Its main limitation is the recurring use of unnatural collocations and several grammatical mismatches that make otherwise sophisticated ideas less precise. Prioritize choosing natural word combinations and tightening complex sentence endings so the argument reads more fluently and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference is clear, though the case for specialization is less fully developed than the case for breadth.
Extend the specialization argument with a more concrete explanation or example before weighing it against the preferred view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and logical progression, although the long third paragraph carries several distinct ideas in a dense sequence.
Separate the exploration and multiple-perspectives arguments into more balanced units with concise internal transitions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows good range, but recurring collocational problems such as 'put endeavors,' 'reach a basis,' and 'comprehensive talents' reduce precision.
Use established academic collocations and verify word forms rather than relying on ambitious combinations that sound unnatural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, but errors in coordination, reference, and agreement recur across the response.
Proofread complex sentences for parallel verb forms and clear relative-clause reference, especially around 'thus leading' and 'which are.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.