In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?
Sample Response
In many regions, there is an urgent need for new housing, and often the only available land is in rural areas. While some individuals assert that preserving the countryside is essential, I believe that constructing new homes in these areas is justified as it effectively addresses housing shortages and provides more affordable living options for residents.
One primary reason for supporting rural housing development is the severe shortage of homes in urban centres, where overcrowding has reached critical levels. Major cities around the world suffer from escalating property prices, limited living spaces, and worsening conditions due to overpopulation. Extending residential developments into nearby rural areas would ease this pressure significantly. For instance, housing projects outside London in counties such as Kent and Surrey have successfully accommodated thousands of families, reducing urban overcrowding and enhancing living standards.
Furthermore, countryside development allows for the creation of affordable housing, which is increasingly inaccessible in urban areas due to soaring real estate prices. Many young people and families find it impossible to purchase or even rent adequate accommodation within city limits. Rural housing can offer cost-effective options, enabling more people to become homeowners or afford comfortable living spaces. For example, rural developments in Australia and Canada have enabled families to acquire spacious homes at significantly lower prices compared to their metropolitan counterparts, fostering a higher quality of life.
In conclusion, although protecting rural landscapes has its merits, addressing the acute housing crisis and providing affordable residential options should be prioritised. Building homes in the countryside is a practical and necessary solution, benefiting both individuals and communities by offering accessible housing and reducing the strain on crowded urban centres.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct comparison target Original: at significantly lower prices compared to their metropolitan counterparts Suggested revision: at significantly lower prices than comparable metropolitan homes Why it matters: The original compares prices with homes rather than with the prices of comparable homes.
- 2. Use concise demand phrase Original: urgent need for new housing Suggested revision: urgent demand for housing Why it matters: The replacement expresses the housing requirement more compactly.
- 3. Clarify context contrast Original: and often the only available land is Suggested revision: while the only available land is often Why it matters: ‘While’ links the housing demand to the contrasting location constraint more clearly.
- 4. Use natural reporting phrase Original: some individuals assert Suggested revision: some people argue Why it matters: The simpler phrase is more natural without reducing formality.
- 5. State reason directly Original: is justified as it effectively addresses Suggested revision: is justified because it addresses Why it matters: ‘Because’ makes the causal relationship more direct, and ‘effectively’ is unnecessary here.
- 6. Specify housing options Original: provides more affordable living options Suggested revision: provides more affordable housing options Why it matters: The argument concerns accommodation specifically, so ‘housing’ is more precise than ‘living’.
- 7. Use natural determiner Original: One primary reason Suggested revision: A primary reason Why it matters: ‘A primary reason’ introduces one important reason without implying it is uniquely first.
- 8. Avoid vague intensity phrase Original: critical levels Suggested revision: a critical level Why it matters: The singular phrase fits the uncountable condition ‘overcrowding’ more naturally.
- 9. Use precise city verb Original: suffer from escalating property prices Suggested revision: face escalating property prices Why it matters: Cities face conditions, whereas people more naturally suffer from their effects.
- 10. Use uncountable space Original: limited living spaces Suggested revision: limited living space Why it matters: ‘Living space’ is normally uncountable when describing general urban availability.
- 11. Tighten overcrowding sequence Suggested revision: Move directly from urban shortage and overcrowding to rural expansion, then use the example without repeating overcrowding in its final phrase. Why it matters: The same urban-pressure point appears in the topic sentence, explanation and example.
- 12. Streamline affordability chain Suggested revision: State the urban price cause once, then progress from the affected households to the rural alternative and its example without repeating ‘affordable’. Why it matters: Repeated affordability wording slightly slows an otherwise logical paragraph sequence.
Suggested Rewrites
- at significantly lower prices compared to their metropolitan counterparts at significantly lower prices than comparable metropolitan homes
- urgent need for new housing urgent demand for housing
- and often the only available land is while the only available land is often
- some individuals assert some people argue
- is justified as it effectively addresses is justified because it addresses
- provides more affordable living options provides more affordable housing options
Why this response received Band 8.5
The essay presents a consistent position and develops two distinct, relevant reasons through clear explanation and focused examples. Its organisation and language are highly controlled; the main opportunity is to engage a little more directly with the countryside-protection concern before explaining why housing need should prevail. Add that brief weighing step to make the judgement more nuanced without diluting the decisive conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The opinion is explicit throughout, and the housing-shortage and affordability arguments are fully developed with relevant support.
Briefly acknowledge one concrete cost of rural development and explain why the stated housing benefits still outweigh it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear function, and progression from the position through two supporting reasons to the conclusion is seamless.
Use the concluding concession to connect more explicitly back to the two body reasons rather than restating them broadly.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise academic vocabulary is used naturally and consistently for housing, affordability, and urban pressure.
Maintain this precision while varying a few repeated terms such as ‘housing’, ‘rural’, and ‘development’ where a natural alternative exists.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex clauses and sentence patterns are handled with strong flexibility and accuracy, with only very minor local awkwardness.
Refine the comparison involving ‘metropolitan counterparts’ so its noun reference is completely explicit.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.