Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time. Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Stylish and branded dresses have significant demand among people in all over the world. While it is highly desirable due to its charm, I believe that outfits should be selected according to one’s necessity and comfort instead of the modern trend.
From my point of view, there are few reasons for people to usually want to have new dresses even when they do not need them at all. One of the strong issues behind this is “impression”, which people think embarks by fancy dresses. Sometimes it has considered as a first and foremost requirement to being up to date, confident and good looking. Apart from this, another indicator that insists people having stylish clothes is the fascination with their favourite celebrities and following their vogue blindly. Keeping up with the latest fashion and to be on trend are two factors people do to attract admirers in many cases. Undoubtedly, these are the factors that drive the world fashion industries and designer labels towards the supreme positions.
Despite those reasons, we must admit, a basic need of our life like “cloth” should be purchased more smartly and wisely. Excessive shopping of dresses should be avoided because there are also many productive ways in our life where investing this money and time seem more sensible. For an instance: by cutting the extra budget of useless clothes, one can easily raise a fund for the purpose of entertainment, own a business or can run any kind of charity organisation. Furthermore, one should care about his or her appearance and the particular ambience while selecting a dress. Because it is the real definition of smartness that grabs more attention than modernised open up outfits. Following trendy fashions often contradicts with someone’s native culture and that can lead to social problems. Have a sense of style does not mean that someone has to wear the expensive and latest dresses always.
In conclusion, while spending money, time and energy for having useless dresses just to show off and attract attentions, I believe utilisation of these elements in other creative areas and choosing comfortable clothes are far more reasonable.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use demand collocation Original: dresses have significant demand Suggested revision: clothes are in high demand Why it matters: Products are “in high demand”; “have significant demand” is not a natural collocation here.
- 2. Remove extra preposition Original: among people in all over the world Suggested revision: among people all over the world Why it matters: “All over the world” does not take “in” after “people”.
- 3. Use natural needs phrase Original: necessity Suggested revision: needs Why it matters: “According to one’s needs” is the idiomatic expression for necessity-based choices.
- 4. Use fashion terminology Original: instead of the modern trend Suggested revision: rather than current fashion trends Why it matters: The plural phrase accurately describes changing styles and collocates naturally with “current”.
- 5. Express several reasons Original: few Suggested revision: several Why it matters: “Few reasons” implies almost none, which conflicts with the multiple reasons that follow.
- 6. Use direct purchase verb Original: usually want to have Suggested revision: often want to buy Why it matters: The replacement states the recurring consumer action more directly.
- 7. Use reason terminology Original: One of the strong issues Suggested revision: One strong reason Why it matters: The paragraph introduces a cause of buying behaviour, not an “issue behind” it.
- 8. Fix verb pattern Original: indicator that insists people having Suggested revision: factor that encourages people to buy Why it matters: “Encourage someone to do” is the correct pattern for the intended influence.
- 9. Create parallel nouns Original: the fascination with their favourite celebrities and following their vogue blindly Suggested revision: fascination with their favourite celebrities and a tendency to follow their style blindly Why it matters: The two coordinated causes need parallel noun phrases.
- 10. Use parallel gerunds Original: Keeping up with the latest fashion and to be on trend Suggested revision: Keeping up with the latest fashion and being on trend Why it matters: Both coordinated activities should use the gerund form.
- 11. Use correct activity noun Original: factors Suggested revision: things Why it matters: People do things or activities, whereas factors cause or influence outcomes.
- 12. Use industry phrase Original: world fashion industries Suggested revision: global fashion industry Why it matters: The singular collective phrase is the natural term for the worldwide sector.
Suggested Rewrites
- dresses have significant demand clothes are in high demand
- among people in all over the world among people all over the world
- necessity needs
- instead of the modern trend rather than current fashion trends
- few several
- usually want to have often want to buy
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay’s strongest aspect is its consistent position that comfort and genuine need should guide clothing purchases, supported by reasons involving cost, appearance, and culture. Its main limitation is that several arguments are loosely developed and expressed through highly unnatural wording, which sometimes obscures the intended logic. The highest priority is to build fewer, clearer reasons and express them with accurate everyday collocations and complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly and maintains agreement, but several supporting claims are overgeneralised or only loosely connected to wiser clothing use.
Develop two central benefits of buying clothes wisely with specific cause-and-effect support rather than adding multiple weakly explained claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a recognisable introduction-body-conclusion structure support progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and local reasoning is difficult to follow.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and ensure every following sentence clearly explains or illustrates that idea.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in vocabulary about fashion and consumption, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Use precise combinations such as “clothes are in high demand”, “make an impression”, and “follow fashion trends” instead of forced expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, complements, and sentence completion limit grammatical control.
Prioritise complete subject-verb sentences and revise recurring patterns such as “is considered”, “encourages people to buy”, and “having a sense of style”.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time. Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.