Do you believe that societies ought to enforce capital punishment or are there alternative forms of punishment that would be better used?
Sample Response
Is the death penalty an effective deterrent? I am completely against this kind of abuse.I am strongly opposing the capital punishment as it is inhuman.
As you all are aware that human beings are prone to make mistakes from which they learn a lot. It's human psychology to rectify them over a period of time. Instead of imposing the death sentence, the convicted should be given a chance to take corrective measures. It is unmanly to execute a living being. This impacts the rise in violent crime. Disciplinary actions can be taken by thrashing some lower punishments on them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add sentence spacing Original: abuse.I Suggested revision: abuse. I Why it matters: A space is required after the full stop.
- 2. Remove article Original: the capital punishment Suggested revision: capital punishment Why it matters: The general uncountable expression does not take “the.”
- 3. Repair opening clause Original: As you all are aware that Suggested revision: As we are all aware, Why it matters: An “as” clause takes a comma here and should not also introduce the statement with “that.”
- 4. Use gerund complement Original: make Suggested revision: making Why it matters: The adjective “prone” is followed by “to” plus a gerund.
- 5. Clarify the object Original: rectify them Suggested revision: correct these mistakes Why it matters: People correct mistakes rather than “rectify” an unclear plural pronoun.
- 6. Name the people Original: the convicted Suggested revision: convicted offenders Why it matters: The explicit noun avoids an impersonal nominalised adjective.
- 7. Use intended adjective Original: unmanly Suggested revision: inhumane Why it matters: “Inhumane” means cruel, whereas “unmanly” concerns stereotypical masculine behaviour.
- 8. Use precise reference Original: living Suggested revision: human Why it matters: The argument concerns executing people, so “human being” is more precise.
- 9. Fix punishment collocation Original: thrashing some lower punishments on them Suggested revision: imposing less severe punishments on them Why it matters: Punishments are “imposed,” and severity is described as lower or greater rather than “thrashed.”
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: This impacts the rise in violent crime. Suggested revision: This may contribute to an increase in violent crime. Why it matters: The rewrite uses the correct verb pattern and a natural noun phrase while preserving the stated relationship.
- 11. Connect the reasoning Suggested revision: Connect the claim that people can reform to the recommendation for less severe penalties before moving to the effect on violent crime. Why it matters: The paragraph jumps between its existing claims without showing how the reasoning progresses.
Suggested Rewrites
- abuse.I abuse. I
- the capital punishment capital punishment
- As you all are aware that As we are all aware,
- make making
- rectify them correct these mistakes
- the convicted convicted offenders
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents an unequivocal opposition to capital punishment and suggests rehabilitation or lesser penalties, giving it a recognisable central argument. Its main limitation is severe underdevelopment at only 100 words, compounded by unclear claims and inaccurate phrasing; the priority is to construct a full argument that explains how specific alternatives work and supports them with relevant reasons or examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and an alternative approach is mentioned, but the ideas are minimally developed and the response is far below the required length.
Develop separate reasons against execution and explain concrete alternatives such as long imprisonment or rehabilitation with supporting examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a basic two-paragraph structure, but progression is weak because several claims are juxtaposed without clear logical links.
Give each paragraph one controlling idea and connect each supporting sentence explicitly to that idea.
Lexical Resource
Some topic-specific vocabulary is attempted, including "deterrent," "convicted," and "corrective measures," but frequent inaccurate collocations weaken precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as "thrashing some lower punishments" with precise expressions such as "imposing less severe penalties."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple sentences are often understandable, but frequent errors in verb form, articles, sentence boundaries, and clause construction reduce control.
Practise accurate opinion structures and clause patterns, for example "I strongly oppose capital punishment because it is inhumane."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you believe that societies ought to enforce capital punishment or are there alternative forms of punishment that would be better used?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.