Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In the past, capital punishment was widely applied to the criminal who were convicted of the serious crime, but now this method is rarely employed by few governments. While I accept it has some conveniences on the society and the administration for controlling the violence, I believe that capital punishment should be banned for several reasons. On the one hand, there are some benefits to the regimes when they implicate the capital punishment. Firstly, petty criminals would discourage to become dangerous offenders because they can see the penalty of the other sinner. This could result in the reduction of crime on the society. Secondly, many governments have to spend a vast amount of money by fostering the convict. As an example, the USA government spends more than 5 percent money of their budget by rearing the criminal in the prison. However, if they employ the capital punishment, the state can able to save much money. Thus, it is fairly easy to comprehend that capital punishment has some advantages on the society and the nation. On the other hand, it can be argued why this method should be banned. One important point is that people can be wrongly convicted. For instance, recent news is published by a daily newspaper named Daily Star in Nigeria that a person was wrongly punished after 25 years it has been proved that he is innocent. If the capital punishment would apply to this person, he would not get the proper judgment. Another point is that as some criminal are mentally ill and they have no idea about their crime. Moreover, this disease has treatments. Therefore, it would not be a good idea to apply this action in all circumstances. Furthermore, the lifetime imprisonment, rehabilitation etc. can be the alternative solution to manage the crime. In conclusions, I think capital punishment should not be required in this modern era. There are many alternative methods we can apply instead of capital punishment for controlling the serious crime on the society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number agreement Original: the criminal who were Suggested revision: criminals who were Why it matters: The plural relative verb were requires the plural noun criminals.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: convicted of the serious crime Suggested revision: convicted of serious crimes Why it matters: The statement refers generally to multiple serious offences, so a plural form is needed.
- 3. Remove conflicting quantifiers Original: rarely employed by few governments Suggested revision: employed by few governments Why it matters: Rarely and few combine awkwardly and obscure how widely the punishment is used.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: some conveniences on the society Suggested revision: some benefits for society Why it matters: Conveniences on society is not a natural expression for social advantages.
- 5. Clarify the actor Original: the administration for controlling the violence Suggested revision: governments in controlling violence Why it matters: This wording clearly identifies who would receive the claimed benefit.
- 6. Use neutral wording Original: the regimes Suggested revision: governments Why it matters: Governments is the more precise neutral term in this policy discussion.
- 7. Correct the verb Original: implicate the capital punishment Suggested revision: implement capital punishment Why it matters: Implement means put a policy into effect, whereas implicate has a different meaning.
- 8. Use passive form Original: petty criminals would discourage Suggested revision: petty criminals would be discouraged Why it matters: The criminals receive the discouraging effect, so the passive form is required.
- 9. Clarify the penalty Original: the penalty of the other sinner Suggested revision: the penalties imposed on other offenders Why it matters: The revision uses an appropriate legal term and makes the relationship clear.
- 10. Correct the preposition Original: the reduction of crime on the society Suggested revision: the reduction of crime in society Why it matters: In society is the standard prepositional phrase here.
- 11. Use accurate wording Original: by fostering the convict Suggested revision: on keeping convicts in prison Why it matters: Fostering does not describe the cost of incarcerating convicted people.
- 12. Fix percentage structure Original: more than 5 percent money of their budget Suggested revision: more than 5 percent of its budget Why it matters: A percentage is followed by of, and government takes the singular possessive its.
Suggested Rewrites
- the criminal who were criminals who were
- convicted of the serious crime convicted of serious crimes
- rarely employed by few governments employed by few governments
- some conveniences on the society some benefits for society
- the administration for controlling the violence governments in controlling violence
- the regimes governments
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear opposition to capital punishment, supported by several relevant arguments and acknowledgement of the opposing case. Its main limitation is that frequent grammatical and lexical inaccuracies make many claims awkward, while some supporting examples are insufficiently credible or explained. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer arguments more carefully and express them with accurate sentence structures and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The prompt is addressed with a clear position and relevant arguments, although several ideas rely on weak or insufficiently explained support.
Develop the strongest reasons against capital punishment with credible, clearly connected evidence instead of adding multiple brief claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable progression, but mechanical linking and the lack of clear paragraph breaks weaken organisation.
Divide the response into distinct paragraphs and use referencing and transitions to show logical relationships more naturally.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to communicate the argument, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as rearing criminals and conveniences on society with natural legal and social-policy vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and verb forms reduce control and clarity.
Prioritise accurate clause structure and verb patterns, especially in conditionals and passive constructions, before attempting longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.