Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution; however, others think there are some other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
While international car-free days are thought to effectively reduce the level of air pollution, some other people believe there are alternatives that are also effective. I will discuss both of these views in my essay below.
On the one hand, it is true that exhaust fumes from cars are majorly responsible for polluting the air as they contain a relatively high proportion of pollutants such as CO2. By having some days without cars on the road, no harmful smoke will be released into the atmosphere, and this will therefore improve air quality. This policy is extremely effective in big cities around the world. Take Beijing, the city known for its dirty air and its atmosphere covered with smog, for example. Since this car-free policy was strictly operated, the air quality of the city has greatly improved.
On the other hand, local governments should encourage the use of public tranport like subways because it produces a smaller quantity of pollutants and is less likely to damage the air. Also, the disposal of waste, especially plastic waste that emits toxic fumes if burned carelessly, at landfills should be closely monitored. The final and the most effective way is to use sustainable and environmentally energy sources, for example solar or wind power, to replace fossil fuels in the long term.
In my view, those measures are all effective in addressing the problem of air pollution, but only to a certain extent. Such a problem needs to be dealt with by different approaches and I always feel that if there is only one way being implemented, it will not be enough.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reference Original: some other people Suggested revision: others Why it matters: The pronoun is more concise and natural when referring to the contrasting group.
- 2. Avoid mechanical phrasing Original: in my essay below Suggested revision: in this essay Why it matters: This version states the essay's purpose more directly.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: majorly Suggested revision: largely Why it matters: Largely responsible is the standard collocation for expressing the main cause.
- 4. Use precise quantity language Original: proportion Suggested revision: concentration Why it matters: Concentration is the more precise noun for pollutants contained in emissions.
- 5. Name the emission precisely Original: no harmful smoke Suggested revision: no vehicle exhaust fumes Why it matters: The replacement identifies the specific emissions discussed in the paragraph.
- 6. Remove redundant wording Original: the city known for its dirty air and its atmosphere covered with smog Suggested revision: a city known for its dirty, smog-filled air Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating the same idea through both air and atmosphere.
- 7. Use the right verb Original: operated Suggested revision: implemented Why it matters: Policies are implemented or enforced rather than operated.
- 8. Correct the spelling Original: tranport Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: Transport is misspelled in this phrase.
- 9. Use a natural collocation Original: damage Suggested revision: pollute Why it matters: Pollute the air expresses the intended environmental effect more naturally.
- 10. Remove repeated article Original: The final and the most effective way Suggested revision: The final and most effective way Why it matters: The coordinated adjectives share one noun phrase and do not need a second article.
- 11. Complete the adjective phrase Original: sustainable and environmentally energy sources Suggested revision: sustainable and environmentally friendly energy sources Why it matters: Environmentally needs friendly to form the adjective phrase modifying energy sources.
- 12. Streamline the expression Original: thought to effectively reduce the level of air pollution Suggested revision: thought to reduce air pollution effectively Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary wording and places the adverb more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- some other people others
- in my essay below in this essay
- majorly largely
- proportion concentration
- no harmful smoke no vehicle exhaust fumes
- the city known for its dirty air and its atmosphere covered with smog a city known for its dirty, smog-filled air
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both perspectives and presents a clear preference for combining measures, with generally relevant support and logical progression. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted rather than fully explained, especially the effectiveness of car-free days and the proposed alternatives. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer solutions more precisely, showing how and why each would reduce pollution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed, though some supporting claims and alternative measures remain briefly developed.
Develop the causal impact and practical effectiveness of each selected measure instead of listing several solutions quickly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clear paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively despite some formulaic sequencing.
Strengthen links within the alternatives paragraph so each solution builds naturally on the central argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several spelling and collocational errors reduce precision.
Replace awkward forms such as 'majorly responsible' and 'environmentally energy sources' with accurate natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors rarely interfere with meaning.
Refine article, modifier, and passive-verb choices to make complex sentences consistently accurate and natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution; however, others think there are some other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.