Many people decide on a career early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?
Sample Response
In our modern world, the job is so essential for our entire life. It is necessary for a comfortable life. We cannot live without a good income, and it is needed to fulfill our dreams and satisfying life. I strongly agree with this view.
Most people want to achieve their goals in the younger stage itself. The reason behind this, they used to try for their goal. Once they achieved the goal, it leads to their satisfying life. The goal will be a dream job or something related to a profession or personal. Whenever we fulfilled our dreams, it gives more satisfying life us.
On the other hand, we can find out satisfaction in any job. There are so many ways to keep our job more satisfied. Most people select their Careers according to their aptitude. Apart from that, they choose the job giving more income or benefit. This way makes them feel unhappy. Wherever we are working, we must choose our enjoyable environment, not income or benefit. If we are thinking about the income, we never get happy.
To conclude, I believe that creating a goal in our life is satisfying life, especially career life. Starting a career at an early age has several advantages. Getting the desired Career is the most important way to lead a happy life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use general article Original: the job is so essential Suggested revision: a job is essential Why it matters: Use the indefinite article when referring to employment in general.
- 2. Match plural possessive Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive pronoun requires a plural noun here.
- 3. Complete parallel structure Original: and satisfying life Suggested revision: and lead a satisfying life Why it matters: Add a verb and article to complete the second coordinated idea.
- 4. Use natural age phrase Original: in the younger stage itself Suggested revision: at a young age Why it matters: This is the natural expression for an early period of life.
- 5. Use present tense Original: achieved Suggested revision: achieve Why it matters: Use the present simple for this general cause-and-effect statement.
- 6. Fix reference and article Original: it leads to their satisfying life Suggested revision: this leads to a satisfying life Why it matters: The demonstrative clearly refers to achieving the goal, and the singular noun needs an article.
- 7. Complete the noun phrase Original: a profession or personal Suggested revision: a profession or a personal ambition Why it matters: The adjective personal needs a noun to complete the alternative.
- 8. Correct collocation Original: find out satisfaction Suggested revision: find satisfaction Why it matters: Find satisfaction is the standard collocation in this context.
- 9. Describe work correctly Original: keep our job more satisfied Suggested revision: make our working lives more satisfying Why it matters: Work can be satisfying, while people are satisfied.
- 10. Use lowercase noun Original: Careers Suggested revision: careers Why it matters: A common noun should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
- 11. Add defining clause Original: job giving more income or benefit Suggested revision: job that offers a higher income or better benefits Why it matters: A relative clause makes the relationship grammatical and clear.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: way Suggested revision: choice Why it matters: Choice refers clearly to selecting a job for income or benefits.
Suggested Rewrites
- the job is so essential a job is essential
- life lives
- and satisfying life and lead a satisfying life
- in the younger stage itself at a young age
- achieved achieve
- it leads to their satisfying life this leads to a satisfying life
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents a clear opinion and uses paragraphing to separate its main points, while its central message remains understandable despite frequent language errors. However, it is under length and both the career-choice argument and alternative sources of job satisfaction are repetitive and only briefly explained. The highest priority is to develop each answer with a specific reason and realistic example, while reducing repeated wording about satisfaction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and relevant ideas address both questions, but the response is under length and the ideas are repetitive and insufficiently developed.
Explain why early career commitment creates satisfaction and support each alternative factor with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is visible, but progression within paragraphs is limited and linking is sometimes mechanical or logically imprecise.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and arrange its sentences as claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the main message, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations restrict precision and flexibility.
Replace repeated forms of satisfy with precise phrases such as job fulfilment, workplace enjoyment, and career contentment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, and sentence construction reduce control.
Proofread every sentence for subject-verb agreement and keep verb tense consistent when describing general situations.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people decide on a career early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.