People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today’s generation has become extremely competitive and leaves no stone unturned in terms of getting the best pedestal for them to walk upon. To this, some people expound that the people who take upon a career path and stay stuck to it are more likely to prosper, while another school of thought considers that not to be true. I disagree with this lookout of staying glued to one’s initial career trajectory and shall propagate my point of view in this regard in the paragraphs to come.
The strife to live and survive the sharp-edged pace of the world has become remarkably herculean today. Right from the ground to the sky, almost everyone is seen toiling hard and working their fingers to the bone to manoeuvre better than others. Hence the choices one makes in one’s career happen to sculpt the future concerning the decisions one makes during their lifetime and switching and adapting is a cardinal part of it. Gone are the days when one had to stay clung to the domain one had chosen for oneself at the beginning of their career. Today is the era of dynamism. Thanks to the pangs of digital contrivances, one can hone their skills and become the best of multiple domains, which zero in on one’s discretion and likelihood to the job they do or choose to switch on to.
Time and again, it has been how the efficacy of an individual has been rendered lackadaisical owing to one’s lost spark for a particular job one is employed for and thereby diminishing the productivity of the organization they are a part of. The cases of people following their passion and making a career switch have not skipped the seams of attention. It keeps one going on the path of accomplishment and instills one with a sense of aligning with their penchant. In such a case it would not at all be factual and pragmatic to believe that one who remains gummed to one’s initially chosen career path would be better than those who change it. There have been countless incidents where one has chosen an entirely distinct stream of a career with regards to what one was recruited for during the dawn of one’s career, and not only has it made such people materialistically sufficed but also mentally stabilized.
Though some might say one has a better chance of promotion when one sticks to one’s career stream, that’s not always true, and that too with the expense of going against one’s mental inertia.
Conclusively, we may therefore say that change is the need of the hour today, and people who manage to adapt to the dynamic waves of the world are the ones who would emerge triumphant in their respective careers. A right switch at the right time is all that makes a difference.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: best pedestal for them to walk upon Suggested revision: best position for themselves Why it matters: A pedestal is a physical support and does not naturally describe a desirable career position here.
- 2. Clarify the link Original: To this Suggested revision: On this issue Why it matters: This connector does not clearly introduce the contrasting views that follow.
- 3. Choose the right verb Original: expound Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Expound normally takes on or upon before a subject, whereas argue fits this clause directly.
- 4. Fix the verb phrase Original: take upon a career path Suggested revision: choose a career path Why it matters: Take upon is not the correct verb construction for selecting a career.
- 5. Correct the noun Original: lookout Suggested revision: view Why it matters: Lookout does not mean an opinion or position in this context.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: shall propagate my point of view in this regard in the paragraphs to come Suggested revision: will explain my point of view below Why it matters: Propagate is overly forceful and the surrounding wording is unnecessarily long.
- 7. Use a natural collocation Original: sharp-edged pace Suggested revision: relentless pace Why it matters: Sharp-edged does not naturally modify the pace of the world.
- 8. Choose a precise verb Original: manoeuvre Suggested revision: perform Why it matters: Manoeuvre does not express general competitive performance clearly here.
- 9. Fix the verb form Original: stay clung to Suggested revision: remain tied to Why it matters: Clung cannot follow stay in this construction.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: pangs of digital contrivances Suggested revision: advances in digital technology Why it matters: Pangs and contrivances convey the wrong meaning for technological progress.
- 11. Complete the clause Original: it has been how Suggested revision: it has been observed that Why it matters: The original words do not form a grammatical reporting clause.
- 12. Express the effect clearly Original: efficacy of an individual has been rendered lackadaisical Suggested revision: effectiveness of an individual has declined Why it matters: Lackadaisical describes a person or attitude, not efficacy.
Suggested Rewrites
- best pedestal for them to walk upon best position for themselves
- To this On this issue
- expound argue
- take upon a career path choose a career path
- lookout view
- shall propagate my point of view in this regard in the paragraphs to come will explain my point of view below
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and offers relevant reasons why career changes can improve fulfilment, particularly through adaptability and renewed motivation. Its main limitation is that the argument remains largely abstract and is often obscured by strained wording, with the promotion counterpoint barely developed; prioritise specific, concrete support and express each claim in simpler, more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant reasons are presented, but support is general and the brief counterargument is not developed.
Develop each main reason with a concrete example that explicitly links changing careers to greater working-life satisfaction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from its position through reasons to a conclusion, although some long passages are diffuse and one paragraph is only a single undeveloped sentence.
Give each paragraph one focused claim and arrange its explanation and example in a clear sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is an ambitious and fairly wide vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise word choices reduce clarity.
Prefer accurate, familiar combinations such as career satisfaction and change fields instead of forcing elaborate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted and meaning is generally clear, but awkward constructions and agreement or preposition errors recur.
Use shorter sentence structures and check subject-verb agreement, relative clauses, and prepositions during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.