Some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career according to whether they will enjoy the work. Which do you think is the best way to choose a career?
This response is estimated at Band 5.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
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Sample Response
In lifeIn our life choosing a career is an important decisionan important factor to consider. If I had to choose between a high salarybetween high salary and a high level of job satisfactionhigh level of enjoyment, I think I would choose the high salary. If I chooseIf I will choose a career solely on the basis of enjoymentfor enjoyment basis only, I might not earn enough money. High paid jobs are beneficial socially and economically, as now will be discussed.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response states a clear preference for salary and gives one relevant reason, so its central position is easy to identify. However, at only 62 words it stops before the promised discussion, leaving the argument almost entirely undeveloped and offering too little organisation or language range to meet the task. The highest priority is to build a full essay with explained body-paragraph reasons and examples, then proofread conditional forms and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is stated, but the response ends after a brief introduction and does not develop its reason or support it with examples.
Write complete body paragraphs that explain why salary is the better basis for choosing a career and illustrate each reason with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four sentences follow a recognisable sequence, but the response has no developed paragraph structure and ends with an unfulfilled forward reference.
Organise the essay into an introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, ensuring every announced point is subsequently developed.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the basic preference clearly, but its range is narrow and combinations such as enjoyment basis and high paid jobs are not fully accurate.
Use natural collocations such as choose a career based on enjoyment and high-paying jobs while expanding the topic-specific vocabulary used in the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and conditional sentence forms communicate the main idea, although errors in conditional tense and sentence punctuation are noticeable in this very short response.
Use the second conditional accurately, for example if I chose, I might, and check introductory phrases and clauses for appropriate comma placement.