There has been a huge increase in the size of cities. Many cities have grown in a haphazard way. Why is careful planning important in the development of cities?
Sample Response
In this modern world, the rapid increase in the populationnumber of population and vehicles is a serious challenge for the governments across the world. To accommodate the maximum number of people and vehicles in a city, they havea city they have to expand itenhance the size of it. In this essay, the writerIn this essay writer would like to discuss why careful planning is crucial when building a city.
To begin withTo embark upon, the first and foremost problemfirst and foremost problem behind an expanding citya broader city is that it causes deforestation. To make it clear, as they need more timber to build beautiful buildings and to make bigger cities they need more space so they grab the space of wild animals, so scientific planning is necessary. More importantly, this lossdevastation of trees can cause air pollution so they should not disrupt natural habitatsimbalance natural habitat to build a huge city. Apart from this, they should have a proper waste management system most of the cities are facing this catastrophic problem such as recycling units and disposal units in the city.
Furthermore, the government needs to plan well when building a city. As we know there are many sophisticated cities that struggle with inefficient drainage systemsthe inefficient drainage system, such as Bombay and TokyoBombay, Tokyo and the like. Moreover, narrow roads can cause traffic congestion and it can be impossible for authoritiesit is impossible for them to reconstruct a city after building it. In addition to this, modern cities should be well connected with other major cities through sea, road and air routesseaways as well as road and airways. The cities have many visitors not only as visitors but also for trading and for dwelling so modern cities should be big enough to accommodate more people. Moreover, these should have ultra modern facilities such as schools, colleges and hospitals.
To conclude, in this era most of the countries' developmentcountries development are mainly concentrated in citiesconcentrated in their cities so it is quite necessary to have a developed city, butcity but, such developmentthese developments should be carefully plannedshould be scientific.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad coverage of practical planning concerns, including transport, drainage, waste, facilities, and environmental protection. Its main limitation is that many points are listed or linked through long sentences without enough precise explanation, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer reasons in clearly controlled paragraphs, showing exactly how advance planning prevents each urban problem.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the importance of planning through several relevant urban and environmental concerns, although development is often brief.
Select fewer planning issues and explain the cause-and-effect relationship for each one with a specific urban example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and an overall logical direction are present, but mechanical transitions, unclear references, and long run-on sentences disrupt flow.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and connect its supporting sentences without stacking multiple points into one sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of urban-planning vocabulary, but frequent word-choice and collocational errors limit precision.
Use natural combinations such as "population growth," "expand a city," and "disrupt the natural habitat" instead of literal or imprecise phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, possessives, punctuation, and clause boundaries persist.
Break run-on sentences into controlled clauses and check articles and subject-verb agreement during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There has been a huge increase in the size of cities. Many cities have grown in a haphazard way. Why is careful planning important in the development of cities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.