Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Nowadays it is seen that youngsters do not have sufficient time to spend with their aged parents and to take care of them. There are many reasons, and there are also some solutions for this. Both the causes and solutions are discussed further in the ensuing paragraphs.
The foremost reason for this problem is the busy work schedule of the individuals. Nowadays due to high rate of expense people use to do a double job. There are many people who are not able to fulfil the basic needs of family members with only one job. To add to this, both husband and wife work. So they also do not get enough time to spend with each other. Sometimes it happens that due to busy schedule they feel tired. All these things become a huddle for them to spend time with the elderly.
One of the solutions for this problem is there can be divided work for both husband and wife. The work should be done by both of them. It should not be something only wives have to do, or only husbands have to do. Also, there can be a rule in the house that once a day, everyone sits together for the meal. They can spend holidays with family members. For example, on the day of Sunday, they can go for an outing. They all can play indoor games with each other.
To sum up, it can be said that every problem has a solution. So if due to busy work conditions they cannot spend time with each other there Are many alternatives for the same. So one just needs positive thinking to find some time for aged people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise noun Original: youngsters Suggested revision: adult children Why it matters: “Adult children” is more precise and appropriately formal for people caring for elderly parents.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: aged Suggested revision: elderly Why it matters: “Elderly parents” is the more natural expression in this context.
- 3. Reduce vague repetition Original: reasons, and there are also some solutions for this Suggested revision: causes and possible solutions Why it matters: The revision states the two essay components concisely and removes the vague reference “this.”
- 4. Simplify formal wording Original: discussed further in the ensuing paragraphs Suggested revision: discussed in the following paragraphs Why it matters: “Following paragraphs” is clearer and less cumbersome than “ensuing paragraphs.”
- 5. Fix number and possession Original: the busy work schedule of the individuals Suggested revision: individuals’ busy work schedules Why it matters: The plural possessive form matches a general reference to multiple individuals and their schedules.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: not able to fulfil Suggested revision: unable to meet Why it matters: “Unable to meet” forms the natural construction with “basic needs.”
- 7. Clarify possession Original: the basic needs of family members Suggested revision: their families’ basic needs Why it matters: The possessive form makes clear whose needs each worker is trying to meet.
- 8. Generalize correctly Original: To add to this, both husband and wife Suggested revision: To add to this, both partners Why it matters: The plural generalization requires a form that refers consistently to couples rather than one husband and one wife.
- 9. Strengthen the link Original: So they also Suggested revision: Consequently, they Why it matters: “Consequently” states the cause-and-effect relationship more precisely.
- 10. Remove empty phrasing Original: Sometimes it happens that Suggested revision: Sometimes Why it matters: The shorter adverb conveys the same meaning without an unnecessary dummy construction.
- 11. Add determiner and number Original: due to busy schedule Suggested revision: because of their busy schedules Why it matters: The noun needs a determiner and should be plural to agree with the people being discussed.
- 12. Correct word and structure Original: become a huddle for them to spend time Suggested revision: create a hurdle that prevents them from spending time Why it matters: “Hurdle” is the intended word, and the revised structure expresses the obstacle clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- youngsters adult children
- aged elderly
- reasons, and there are also some solutions for this causes and possible solutions
- discussed further in the ensuing paragraphs discussed in the following paragraphs
- the busy work schedule of the individuals individuals’ busy work schedules
- not able to fulfil unable to meet
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear problem-solution structure and communicates its central idea about demanding work schedules without ambiguity. However, the cause coverage is narrow, and several proposed activities relate more to family socialising than to the practical demands of caring for an elderly person. Develop distinct causes and connect each solution directly to caregiving responsibilities, supported by clearer explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the causes are essentially limited to work pressure and several solutions are only partly connected to elderly care.
Develop at least two distinct causes and propose practical responses that clearly increase the time or support available for caregiving.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear paragraph structure, though progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive and linking is mechanical.
Group each cause or solution with its explanation and consequence, using fewer formulaic connectors and short repetitive statements.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but frequent awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as rising living costs, work two jobs, obstacle, and share household responsibilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences conveys meaning, although article, verb-form, agreement, and punctuation errors occur regularly.
Review sentence boundaries and practise article and verb patterns in phrases such as due to a busy schedule and people used to do.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.