Over-fishing has become a very common practice in many countries. Why is it so? What do you think are the effects of over-fishing?
Sample Response
Fish populations in seas, lakes and rivers are falling sharply all around the world. Many countries had plenty of fish species, but these days, many fish species have become numbered. This has happened mainly due to over-fishing and water pollution. Overall, this has terrible impacts.
Fishes, in many parts of the world, are caught early and they do not get time to grow and reproduce. Without the government’s initiatives and proper policy, the condition will deteriorate as the greedy fishers would not spare any fish from their nets. Moreover, pollution has reduced the natural habitats of fish species in rivers, lakes and oceans. As a consequence, marine life has lost its balance to a certain extent, and many fish species are now extinct or on the verge of extinction.
As a direct result of this, many popular fish species have become very expensive and rare. For instance, Hilsha, the national fish of Bangladesh, is highly expensive and hard to find. This has a negative economic impact as the country used to export this fish to many Western countries. Besides, due to the exhaustive and indiscriminating fishing, many rivers, lakes and canals are void of fish and more fishermen are finding it hard to live by fishing. Many governments have already taken steps by declaring many rivers, sea areas and canals restricted and marking commercial fishing prohibited in certain seasons, and this is making the livelihood of many fishermen even harder.
In conclusion, overfishing must be stopped now, and the government must decide to bring changes to save fish species. Besides, the population who live by fishing must also catch fish prudently and always spare the newborn and mother fish for their own benefit. Without imposing strict laws to stop uncontrolled fishing, while also investing money in improving the natural habitats of fish, we will bear great losses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise adjective Original: numbered Suggested revision: scarce Why it matters: “Numbered” does not naturally mean that a species has declined in abundance.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: terrible impacts Suggested revision: serious consequences Why it matters: This phrase expresses the same meaning in a more precise academic register.
- 3. Use uncountable fish Original: Fishes Suggested revision: Fish Why it matters: “Fish” is the usual plural when referring collectively to the animals.
- 4. Clarify timing Original: are caught early Suggested revision: are caught before maturity Why it matters: The revision states more precisely that the fish are caught before they can grow and reproduce.
- 5. Correct noun forms Original: the government’s initiatives and proper policy Suggested revision: government initiatives and appropriate policies Why it matters: The general reference requires natural noun forms and a plural count noun for policies.
- 6. Choose natural noun Original: condition Suggested revision: situation Why it matters: “Situation” is the natural word for the worsening circumstances described here.
- 7. Avoid emotive wording Original: greedy Suggested revision: irresponsible Why it matters: The revision identifies harmful conduct without using an unnecessarily emotive label.
- 8. Match future tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The main clause should use “will” to match the future condition introduced by “will deteriorate.”
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: marine life has lost its balance Suggested revision: marine ecosystems have become imbalanced Why it matters: The revision expresses ecological imbalance more naturally and precisely.
- 10. Correct word choice Original: exhaustive Suggested revision: excessive Why it matters: “Excessive” means greater than is reasonable, whereas “exhaustive” means comprehensive.
- 11. Use adjective form Original: indiscriminating Suggested revision: indiscriminate Why it matters: “Indiscriminate” is the adjective that correctly describes the practice of fishing.
- 12. Use correct collocation Original: void Suggested revision: devoid Why it matters: “Devoid of” is the standard expression meaning completely lacking something.
Suggested Rewrites
- numbered scarce
- terrible impacts serious consequences
- Fishes Fish
- are caught early are caught before maturity
- the government’s initiatives and proper policy government initiatives and appropriate policies
- condition situation
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest when explaining the consequences of depleted fish stocks, using a relevant national example and clear economic links. Its main limitation is that the causes of overfishing are only partly developed, while water pollution is treated as a cause of fish decline rather than explaining why excessive fishing occurs. Prioritise a fuller causal analysis of demand, commercial incentives, regulation, and fishing technology.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, and the effects are well supported, but the explanation of why overfishing is common remains narrow and partly conflated with pollution.
Develop two distinct causes of excessive fishing with clear causal chains before moving to its environmental and economic effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes, consequences, and a conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Keep each paragraph more tightly aligned with one task question and avoid introducing an extended solutions focus in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary communicates ecological and economic ideas precisely, although several word choices and collocations are awkward.
Replace unnatural phrases such as species becoming numbered and indiscriminating fishing with accurate, idiomatic environmental vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, but recurring article, noun-form, and clause-control errors reduce grammatical precision.
Proofread plural and uncountable nouns, articles, and long coordinated sentences so complex ideas remain consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over-fishing has become a very common practice in many countries. Why is it so? What do you think are the effects of over-fishing?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.