It is a fact that people are under more pressure nowadays and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this issue?
Sample Response
The modern world struggles for existence is the key to one's success. Apparently, this has made the life of every individual a highly stressful one. There are many factors contributing to this struggleaspects attributing to this struggle like health problemsreasons, financial insecurity, work pressure.work pressure etc. Serious measures need to be taken to overcome this stress. Today those areas will be discussed in detaildetails.
Firstly, a healthy life is the precursor to happiness. So, the major contributor to stresscontributor towards the stress in a normal person's life is poor healththeir unhealthy condition. For instance, an employee who due to health reasons takes a week off from work, get a lot of work pressure when rejoins the organisation, hence, leading toward an enormous stress. Moreover, studies worldwidestudies all around the world have shownproved that individuals in difficult financial circumstancesin poor financial condition lead a more stressful life when compared to wealthier peoplethe wealthy one. For example, a daily-wage workera daily worker who just manages to earn enough for their daily mealshis/her daily meals always worries about missinghas a tension of missing one day's wage. Thus, after analysing the above points we are in a position to state that poor health and financial insecuritypoor health and wealth condition catalyses to the stress of a person.
Now once we have discovered the reasons leading to stress, it's time to discuss the preventive measuresmajors for it. The entity playing the key role in stress reductioncontrol is the government. If the government is well managed and they have proper plans in place to overcome the health problems and financial insecurityhealth and wealth uncertainty of every individual, then the stress does automatically reduce. For example, if a poor worker doesn't have to worry about his one day's wage loss then they can lead their life more peacefully. Hence, we can say that primarily the government needs to implement policies that contribute to stress preventionpolicies which will be attributing towards stress prevention.
After analysing the reasons for the stress and ways to overcome it, we can safely conclude that the health and wealth are the most important reasons attributing towards stress and the same can be solved by the few changes in the government policies. It is also believed that in future government will make a note and work towards this very critical issue.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both causes and solutions, with its clearest strength being the link between financial insecurity, missed wages and stress. Its main limitation is that the proposed solution remains vague and almost entirely dependent on unspecified government policies, while frequent grammatical and word-choice errors weaken clarity. The priority is to propose two concrete measures, explain how each would reduce stress and express them in shorter, more accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Health, financial insecurity and work pressure are relevant causes, but the solution section offers only a vague government response with limited practical development.
Propose specific measures such as paid sick leave and accessible healthcare, then explain the direct stress-reducing effect of each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons-solution structure is clear, although repetitive metadiscourse and mechanical linking weaken the flow within and between paragraphs.
Start each paragraph with a precise controlling idea and remove phrases that merely announce what the essay is discussing.
Lexical Resource
Some appropriate stress-related vocabulary appears, but frequent miscollocations and word-choice errors substantially reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace phrases such as "preventive majors", "catalyses to the stress" and "has a tension" with clear standard expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns and clause structure occur throughout the essay.
Build shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement in forms such as "an employee gets", "conditions contribute" and "stress decreases".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is a fact that people are under more pressure nowadays and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.