In recent years, life has become more stressful than it has ever been. As a consequence, more and more people are suffering from stress-related problems. What factors are contributing to this increase and what do you think can be done to overcome the current problems.
Sample Response
Life has become more stressful than ever. People seems like cannot find a successful path due to stress related problem. Mentally disturbed one have problems in each and every step of the life. In my opinion, people should have stress but not across the inordinate level of stress in day to day life. Higher competition, higher expenses, limited resources, more expectation and globalizations are the main reasons for this increased stress in our life. Having realistic ambitions in life, living a positive life, better family bonding and being honest and contended are the main ways of overcoming this problem. I believe that higher competition in every step of life is the most common reason for our stress. I believed that the stress has taken place into our mind due to the lack of our self-confidence. Main reason behind the stress is to not having a clear vision towards foreseeable future. Many people could not anticipate their aim and objectives in life. Mostly people who are always jumbling for their destinations tend to face stress in day to day activities. A person in stress neither gets an opportunity in life nor live the life happily. People in stress just waste their time for blaming others for their problem. Higher living expenses force people to work more and that has reached to over 10-14 hours in many professions. Limited resources and the higher population have made it impossible to have a decent life without competing. This is another reason people nowadays face more job-related stress than ever before. Many people are not contented with whatever they have and they are always in stress. Globalisation has opened the doors of new possibility and along with it new expectations. This is another reason that can be contributed to the stress. The environment pollution and junk food that we usually eat reduced our level of fitness and physical illness and mental stress are correlated.
Again, frustration and depression are the reasons for mental stress for people and drug abuse, family issues and social perspectives could be attributed to these. Stress decreases the efficiency of people on job. People with such pressure also fail to manage good relationship within home and outside. Such people cannot become happy as well as people around him are also affected.
There are many steps that the individuals and the society can take to make our life stress free. First of all, we have to learn to be contented and satisfied. Without being self-contented no one can ever overcome this problem. Proper planning, punctuality and better family bonding can solve this problem to some extent. We should live our life in a decent way and should always be honest not to question our own honesty and integrity. As far as I am concerned, sometimes, I have suffered for my career growth stress. But I did not cross the inordinate level of stress. I immediately concentrate towards the situation and find the problem myself and I try my best to come out from stress by making a proper plan and solve the problem as soon as possible.
Again, the cumulative effort to be happy and contended by each family member can contribute to a great deal. We should keep our body fit and do exercise daily. It is medically proven that proper exercise helps us reduce our stress. We should pick up hobbies, travel new places and read frequently to remove our stress. We also can travel to naturally beautiful places to reduce stresses of our mind. Travelling creates an opportunity to encounter with new circumstances and help to refresh our mind.
In my opinion, to come out from stress people have to identify the reason of stress and have to start working hard to resolve the problems immediately. If we cannot take immediate actions for our problems and stress, that might create a hazardous situation in foreseeable future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Repair verb structure Original: People seems like cannot find Suggested revision: People seem unable to find Why it matters: The plural subject requires “seem,” and “unable to” completes the verb structure naturally.
- 2. Use respectful clear wording Original: Mentally disturbed one have problems Suggested revision: Mentally distressed people have problems Why it matters: The revision replaces the unsuitable noun phrase and agrees with the plural verb.
- 3. Clarify excessive stress Original: not across the inordinate level of stress Suggested revision: not an excessive level of stress Why it matters: “Across the inordinate level” is not an idiomatic way to express excessive stress.
- 4. Correct noun forms Original: more expectation and globalizations Suggested revision: higher expectations and globalisation Why it matters: The list requires the plural count noun “expectations” and the uncountable noun “globalisation.”
- 5. Use correct adjective Original: being honest and contended Suggested revision: being honest and content Why it matters: “Content” means satisfied, whereas “contended” means struggled or competed.
- 6. Use natural stress phrase Original: has taken place into our mind Suggested revision: arises in our minds Why it matters: Stress arises in the mind rather than taking place into it.
- 7. Correct gerund structure Original: is to not having Suggested revision: is not having Why it matters: The complement after “is” requires the gerund phrase without “to.”
- 8. Use correct quantifier Original: Mostly people Suggested revision: Most people Why it matters: “Most” directly modifies the plural noun, while “mostly” is an adverb.
- 9. Clarify pursuit of goals Original: jumbling for their destinations Suggested revision: struggling to reach their goals Why it matters: The original phrase does not clearly express difficulty in pursuing life goals.
- 10. Fix parallel agreement Original: nor live the life happily Suggested revision: nor lives happily Why it matters: The singular subject requires “lives,” parallel to “gets.”
- 11. Correct gerund pattern Original: waste their time for blaming others Suggested revision: waste their time blaming others Why it matters: “Waste time” is followed directly by a gerund without “for.”
- 12. Repair time expression Original: has reached to over 10-14 hours Suggested revision: can reach 10 to 14 hours Why it matters: “Reach” does not take “to,” and the range needs a clear “to” construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- People seems like cannot find People seem unable to find
- Mentally disturbed one have problems Mentally distressed people have problems
- not across the inordinate level of stress not an excessive level of stress
- more expectation and globalizations higher expectations and globalisation
- being honest and contended being honest and content
- has taken place into our mind arises in our minds
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its extensive coverage of both causes of stress and possible personal remedies, with a clear attempt to explain several relevant factors. Its main limitation is that the very long, repetitive discussion includes loosely connected or insufficiently developed ideas, while frequent language errors reduce clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to select two or three major causes and matching solutions, organise them concisely, and explain each through a clear causal chain.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with many relevant causes and solutions, but development is uneven, repetitive, and occasionally unclear.
Select a smaller number of major causes and develop a directly related solution for each with specific explanation or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad movement from causes to effects and solutions is visible, but oversized paragraphs, repetition, and loose internal sequencing weaken progression.
Use one focused paragraph for each major cause-solution relationship and remove repeated points about contentment, planning, and travel.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss stress, but frequent inaccurate word choices, forms, and collocations often make expression awkward.
Use simpler, reliable expressions and correct recurring phrases such as “suffered for career growth stress” and “stresses of our mind.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, prepositions, and clause construction reduce clarity.
Prioritise complete sentences with accurate subject-verb agreement and verb patterns before attempting longer complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In recent years, life has become more stressful than it has ever been. As a consequence, more and more people are suffering from stress-related problems. What factors are contributing to this increase and what do you think can be done to overcome the current problems.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.