Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
Sample Response
Immigration has a significant impact on the contemporary society. Each year, more and more people from all over the world decide to leave their home countries and move to another place. This essay will examine the reasons and the consequences of immigration.
In my view, the main reason of immigration is a strong desire of better life quality and safe future. A lot of people from so-called Third World move to developed countries in search of better employment opportunities, and therefore, higher incomes. Moreover, living in a wealthy country implies living in a country with stable economy, so risks of losing their savings also lessen. For example, labour migration from Mexico to the USA is caused by these facts. Other reasons that force whole families to cross borders are wars and various cultural conflicts in their homeland. Many people migrate, seeking security and safe future for their children. For instance, most of the refugees who arrived in the European Union were escaping from wars.
However, sometimes immigration causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their countries of destination. First of all, most of the refugees can’t find jobs because of the lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. That’s why the countries have to run various refugee assistance programs to help those people. But disproportionate burden of maintaining the immigrants leads to tension in the society. Secondly, not all of the refugees receive proper asylum, food and medical care. So they are at risk even after crossing the border. Finally, even highly qualified specialists, who seek better employment, often don’t get what they are looking for.
In conclusion, I think that people immigrate to have better life prospects. However, life after immigration may not always meet people’s expectations. So it’s very important to consider all the possible outcomes and decide whether leaving your homeland is worth it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: the contemporary society Suggested revision: contemporary society Why it matters: “Society” is used in a general sense here and does not take the definite article.
- 2. Correct the prepositions Original: the reasons and the consequences of immigration Suggested revision: the reasons for and the consequences of immigration Why it matters: The correct patterns are “reasons for” something and “consequences of” something.
- 3. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: “Reason” takes the preposition “for” when followed by the phenomenon being explained.
- 4. Repair the noun phrase Original: a strong desire of better life quality and safe future Suggested revision: a strong desire for a better quality of life and a safe future Why it matters: The phrase requires “desire for,” articles before both singular nouns, and the standard expression “quality of life.”
- 5. Use precise wording Original: from so-called Third World Suggested revision: from developing countries Why it matters: The original expression lacks an article and uses an imprecise, dated label for the countries intended.
- 6. Remove faulty punctuation Original: and therefore, higher incomes Suggested revision: and, therefore, higher incomes Why it matters: The parenthetical connector “therefore” needs punctuation on both sides in this position.
- 7. Add the article Original: a country with stable economy Suggested revision: a country with a stable economy Why it matters: The singular countable noun “economy” requires an article.
- 8. Correct number and comparison Original: so risks of losing their savings also lessen Suggested revision: so the risk of losing their savings is also lower Why it matters: The revised singular construction expresses a lower level of risk more naturally and grammatically.
- 9. Use a precise cause Original: caused by these facts Suggested revision: driven by these factors Why it matters: “Factors” refers more accurately to the economic conditions just discussed than “facts” does.
- 10. Add the article Original: seeking security and safe future Suggested revision: seeking security and a safe future Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase “safe future” requires an article.
- 11. Choose the natural verb Original: were escaping from wars Suggested revision: were fleeing wars Why it matters: “Fleeing wars” is the more concise and idiomatic expression for escaping armed conflict.
- 12. Improve parallel structure Original: because of the lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation Suggested revision: because of limited language skills and difficulty adapting Why it matters: This revision gives the two coordinated causes parallel and natural grammatical forms.
Suggested Rewrites
- the contemporary society contemporary society
- the reasons and the consequences of immigration the reasons for and the consequences of immigration
- of for
- a strong desire of better life quality and safe future a strong desire for a better quality of life and a safe future
- from so-called Third World from developing countries
- and therefore, higher incomes and, therefore, higher incomes
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear structure and relevant coverage of economic, security, and social dimensions of immigration. Its main limitation is that several consequences are listed briefly rather than developed through precise causal explanation, while recurring article and collocation errors weaken polish. Prioritise deeper development of one or two consequences and edit common noun phrases for more natural, accurate expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both questions with relevant reasons and consequences, though some consequences are asserted more briefly than they are explained.
Develop the strongest consequences with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning instead of adding several short final points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a clear four-paragraph progression, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively despite some mechanical sequencing.
Link supporting points through their logical relationships and reduce reliance on labels such as first, secondly, and finally.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but repeated errors in collocation, preposition choice, and article-dependent phrases limit precision.
Use more natural combinations such as reasons for immigration, quality of life, and the burden of supporting newcomers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with meaning consistently clear, although article and preposition errors recur.
Review articles in singular countable noun phrases and check prepositions after common nouns such as reason and desire.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.