Modern technology, such as chemical fertiliser, is being used more nowadays. Some people think that it is dangerous to human health and has negative effects on local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Today, innovations in farming have changed citizens' lives significantlyfar significantly. Some individuals believe that the new chemicals used in agriculture have had numerous drawbacks foron people's health. However, others, myself included, believe that the benefitsthe positive influences can surpass the negative consequences. On the one hand, some people believe that chemical materials used for food are like the tip of the iceberglike a tip of an iceberg. One reason is that they can increase the risk of obesity. Hormones are substances thatHormones are the ones which are used in producing vegetables or animal productsapplied as fertilisers in vegetables or animal products, causing consumerscausing the users to become overweightbecome more overweight. For example, the rate of obesity has risen substantiallyhas fundamentally grown among U.S. citizensamong the U.S. citizens, who use the greatest amounts of non-organic foods in the world. These types of foods are considerably cheaper than organic foodmore economical than the organic ones, therefore being widely consumed by Americansbeing used hugely by Americans, who are number one when it comes to the obesity rate. Another side effect is the risk of resistance. Using of these chemical materials, crops may defend themselves less effectivelycrops may defend less themselves against mutated pests. In particular, billions of tonnes of corn products were ruined in Canada in 2009 because of new species of these modified pests, as reported by National Geographicreported by the National Geographic magazine. On the other hand, I supportI give a green light to the usage of these products because they offer more advantagesbecause of having more advantages. One important benefit is that these fertilisers have increased the productivity of agricultural products. Clearly, the more they are used by farmers, the larger crop yields are producedmore massive crops are generated. As a prime example, we can see the quality of applesapple has been improved notably, compared to the past. The shape, volume, colour and even price of it have been changed positively, and many of citizens can afford it; therefore, even low-income families are able to purchase it. Furthermore, crops are nourished by more valuable items. In many farm industries, vitamins and minerals are added to crops, leading them to become far nutritious than the organic products. In particular, had not these chemicals been used in rice, more children would have suffered from Vitamin B deficiency, the most abundant vitamin being found in non-organic rice. In conclusion, although consumption of chemical materials can be partly risky, I personally believe that their advantages can be greater than their negative side effects. These materials have helped humans to not only be able to afford better their food, but they can consume more healthy products than before. If I were a governor, I would support those industries producing them.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops several potential risks and agricultural benefits with examples, showing an ability to explore competing considerations. Its main limitation is incomplete task coverage: effects on local communities are largely replaced by claims about health, crops, and consumers, and some causal claims are insufficiently credible. The highest-priority improvement is to analyse concrete community impacts directly and support them with accurate, logically explained evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer clearly disagrees and develops benefits and health risks, but the prompt's effects on local communities are not adequately addressed.
Explain specific consequences for farmers, local employment, soil or water quality, and community health before reaching the final judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opposing sides and conclusion follow a recognisable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and some unclear referencing weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, risks, benefits, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A fairly broad topic vocabulary is attempted, although frequent unnatural collocations, forced idioms, and imprecise terms reduce accuracy.
Replace expressions such as give a green light and more massive crops with precise, neutral academic language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are attempted throughout, but errors in articles, agreement, word order, comparison, and clause structure occur regularly.
Prioritise accurate noun phrases and clause structure, particularly in participial openings, comparisons, and correlative constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology, such as chemical fertiliser, is being used more nowadays. Some people think that it is dangerous to human health and has negative effects on local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.