Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some argue that early childhood experiences are the most decisive in shaping an individual’s future, while others believe that adolescence has a greater impact on life outcomes. I agree with the latter view, as the teenage years involve more complex decision-making and personal autonomy, which more directly influence the course of one’s adult life.
Early childhood experiences are seen by many as the most influential in shaping a person's future. The first reason for this is that brain development and personality formation occur at a rapid pace before school begins. In this period, attentive care and stimulation help establish neural pathways that support later learning and social interaction. Thus, positive early care can lead to stronger foundations for future education and relationships. Another possible reason is that during childhood, core values and habits are ingrained through daily routines and role modelling. This is because young children often internalize behaviour patterns by observing parental guidance and consistent schedules. For instance, regular bedtime and affectionate support can encourage self-discipline and foster confidence.
However, I believe that experiences during the teenage years exert a more substantial influence for several reasons. Chief among these is that identity formation and peer influence play a central role during adolescence. At this stage, young people engage in social comparison and experiment with different roles to discover who they are. Consequently, peer pressure and the quest for independence often drive critical decisions about values and behaviour. Another point worth mentioning is that academic and career choices made as teenagers set the course for long-term opportunities. Specifically, selecting particular subjects, extracurricular activities, or vocational paths provides exposure to specialized skills and knowledge. By way of illustration, a student who opts for science electives and internships in high school is more likely to pursue a STEM career, thereby shaping future professional prospects.
In conclusion, while early childhood provides the emotional and developmental groundwork, I maintain that the identity-forming encounters and pivotal decisions of adolescence carry more weight in determining a person’s future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify later outcomes Original: life outcomes Suggested revision: later life outcomes Why it matters: Later makes the link to the individual's future more explicit.
- 2. Natural time phrase Original: In Suggested revision: During Why it matters: During is the more natural preposition for referring to a developmental stage.
- 3. Tighten causal link Original: This is because young children Suggested revision: Young children Why it matters: The causal relationship is already clear, so removing the formulaic lead-in improves flow.
- 4. Clarify the mechanism Original: internalize behaviour patterns by observing parental guidance and consistent schedules Suggested revision: internalize behaviour patterns through parental guidance and consistent schedules Why it matters: Through accurately presents guidance and schedules as influences rather than things literally observed.
- 5. Use plural routine Original: bedtime Suggested revision: bedtimes Why it matters: The plural form better expresses a recurring general routine.
- 6. Use concise transition Original: Another point worth mentioning is that Suggested revision: Furthermore, Why it matters: A concise additive transition makes the progression to the next reason more direct.
- 7. Refine the collocation Original: set the course for long-term opportunities Suggested revision: shape their long-term opportunities Why it matters: Shape opportunities is more direct and avoids the mixed metaphor of setting a course for opportunities.
- 8. Use concise example marker Original: By way of illustration Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: The shorter marker introduces the illustration clearly without unnecessary formality.
- 9. Use consistent term Original: encounters Suggested revision: experiences Why it matters: Experiences is more precise here and aligns with the central wording used throughout the essay.
- 10. Use natural comparison Original: decisive Suggested revision: influential Why it matters: Influential collocates more naturally with shaping a person's future while preserving the comparison.
- 11. Refine care description Original: positive Suggested revision: supportive Why it matters: Supportive identifies the beneficial quality of care more specifically than positive.
- 12. Use singular metaphor Original: stronger foundations Suggested revision: a stronger foundation Why it matters: A foundation is conventionally singular when describing the basis for later education and relationships.
Suggested Rewrites
- life outcomes later life outcomes
- In During
- This is because young children Young children
- internalize behaviour patterns by observing parental guidance and consistent schedules internalize behaviour patterns through parental guidance and consistent schedules
- bedtime bedtimes
- Another point worth mentioning is that Furthermore,
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response fully addresses both views and sustains a clear preference for adolescent experience through detailed, relevant causal explanations and examples. Its strongest feature is the precise progression from developmental foundations to identity, peer influence, and consequential life choices; the main limitation is mildly formulaic signposting in places. The highest-priority improvement is to make transitions more organic and synthesize the comparison between the two periods even more explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth, the writer's opinion is explicit throughout, and the supporting reasons and examples are highly relevant and well extended.
Strengthen the comparative judgement further by explicitly weighing why adolescent choices outweigh the early foundations described in the opposing view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has highly logical progression, focused paragraphs, and well-managed referencing and linking across a sustained argument.
Replace a few formulaic sequencing phrases with more implicit transitions to make the progression feel fully natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexibly used across developmental, social, educational, and professional contexts, with only very minor awkwardness.
Refine occasional conventional phrases such as regular bedtime into more exact expressions such as a consistent bedtime routine.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A full range of sentence structures is used with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation throughout the response.
Maintain this level of control while varying clause openings and sentence rhythms for an even more effortless style.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.