Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The viewpoint that children are better learners became almost a common sense, although it is not always true in terms of learning foreign languages. When it comes to making an approach to, for example, Japanese or French, adults have proven themselves superior learners because of their experience of getting knowledge of their own language and their performance is generally better motivated.
Every adult has some amount of education and it means that he has already received a general understanding of the structure of the native language. Thus, this more or less categorised base usually serves as a template for foreign grammar or vocabulary. A person only has to place new material on certain shelves in his memory and operate them like it his own language. Children, in contrast, are usually confused by any grammar, even of their country. Bringing foreign language to curriculum adds embarrassment because they do not have sufficient understanding of grammatical of semantic categories and can not bring to order such huge amounts of information. Grown-ups also appear to be more enthusiastic about language studies. As a matter of fact, this skill for them is a tool that can be used to achieve career goals. Obviously, a more motivated individual do better, and even if his abilities are modest, through practice success can come very fast and a lot of success stories can prove it. Kids, though, usually consider second language lessons as a fun or, otherwise, something boring and, even if they tend to absorb knowledge like sponges, without use it rapidly disappears. With no proper encouragement youngsters just do not know they have to practice new words and grammar in order not to forget them. Thus, while it would not be a mistake to suggest children are naturally better learners, let us not forget that adults are usually better suited to language studies.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix tense and article Original: became almost a common sense Suggested revision: has become almost common sense Why it matters: The present perfect fits a view that has developed over time, and common sense takes no article.
- 2. Use natural quantity Original: some amount of education Suggested revision: some education Why it matters: Education is uncountable here and does not require amount of.
- 3. Link and neutralise Original: and it means that he Suggested revision: which means that they Why it matters: The relative clause links the ideas smoothly and the singular they avoids an unnecessary male pronoun.
- 4. Clarify possession Original: the Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The possessive determiner clearly links the language to the adult learner.
- 5. Use a clear noun phrase Original: more or less categorised base Suggested revision: organised foundation Why it matters: Organised foundation clearly describes prior language knowledge used for further learning.
- 6. Join both elements Original: or Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The sentence presents both areas as uses of the foundation, so and is the appropriate connector.
- 7. Remove the broad determiner Original: confused by any grammar Suggested revision: confused by grammar Why it matters: Any makes the statement unnaturally absolute and is unnecessary.
- 8. Name the language Original: even of their country Suggested revision: even in their native language Why it matters: The revision clearly identifies the grammar being discussed rather than referring vaguely to a country.
- 9. Add articles and preposition Original: Bringing foreign language to curriculum Suggested revision: Adding a foreign language to the curriculum Why it matters: The singular language and curriculum require articles, and adding is the natural verb.
- 10. Use the intended meaning Original: adds embarrassment Suggested revision: causes confusion Why it matters: Confusion describes difficulty understanding material, while embarrassment describes social discomfort.
- 11. Use the correct connector Original: of Suggested revision: or Why it matters: Or correctly links the two alternative category types.
- 12. Use one word Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The standard spelling of this modal negative is one word.
Suggested Rewrites
- became almost a common sense has become almost common sense
- some amount of education some education
- and it means that he which means that they
- the their
- more or less categorised base organised foundation
- or and
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear disagreement and develops two relevant reasons for adult success: prior knowledge of language structure and stronger practical motivation. The central argument remains easy to follow, but the single extended body paragraph and frequent awkward wording weaken control and readability. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two reasons into focused paragraphs and support each with a precise, credible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant, extended arguments, although several broad claims would benefit from stronger evidence.
Add a specific example for each main reason and qualify generalizations about both children and adults.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through contrast and cause, but two distinct main arguments are compressed into one long body paragraph and some linking is cumbersome.
Use separate body paragraphs for prior linguistic knowledge and motivation, each beginning with a direct controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for discussing learning and motivation, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise choices reduce clarity.
Use established expressions such as common belief, approach a language, prior knowledge, and causes confusion instead of translating phrases literally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, while recurring agreement, article, pronoun, and clause-construction errors limit accuracy.
Simplify overloaded sentences and proofread subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, particularly around individual learners and abstract knowledge.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.