Some people think children are more successful in foreign language studies than adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?

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Sample Response

1

The viewpoint that children are better learners has become almost common sensebecame almost a common sense, although it is not always true in terms of learning foreign languages. When it comes to making an approach to, for example, Japanese or French, adults have proven themselves superior learners because of their experience of getting knowledge of their own language and their performance is generally better motivated.

2

Every adult has some educationsome amount of education which means that theyand it means that he has already received a general understanding of the structure of theirthe native language. Thus, this organised foundationmore or less categorised base usually serves as a template for foreign grammar andor vocabulary. A person only has to place new material on certain shelves in his memory and operate them like it his own language. Children, in contrast, are usually confused by grammarconfused by any grammar, even in their native languageeven of their country. Adding a foreign language to the curriculumBringing foreign language to curriculum causes confusionadds embarrassment because they do not have sufficient understanding of grammatical orof semantic categories and can not organisebring to order such a large amountsuch huge amounts of information. Grown-ups also appear to be more enthusiastic about language studies. As a matter of fact, language abilitythis skill for them is a tool that can be used to achieve career goals. Obviously, a more motivated individual doesdo better, and even if his abilities are modest, through practice success can come very fast and a lot of success stories can prove it. Kids, though, usually consider second language lessons as funas a fun or, otherwise, something boring and, even if they tend to absorb knowledge like sponges, without use, it rapidly disappearswithout use it rapidly disappears. With no proper encouragement youngsters just do not know they have to practice new words and grammar in order not to forget them. Thus, while it would not be a mistake to suggest children are naturally better learners, let us not forget that adults are usually better suited to language studies.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response presents a clear disagreement and develops two relevant reasons for adult success: prior knowledge of language structure and stronger practical motivation. The central argument remains easy to follow, but the single extended body paragraph and frequent awkward wording weaken control and readability. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two reasons into focused paragraphs and support each with a precise, credible example.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant, extended arguments, although several broad claims would benefit from stronger evidence.

Next step

Add a specific example for each main reason and qualify generalizations about both children and adults.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Ideas progress logically through contrast and cause, but two distinct main arguments are compressed into one long body paragraph and some linking is cumbersome.

Next step

Use separate body paragraphs for prior linguistic knowledge and motivation, each beginning with a direct controlling idea.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response shows adequate range for discussing learning and motivation, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise choices reduce clarity.

Next step

Use established expressions such as common belief, approach a language, prior knowledge, and causes confusion instead of translating phrases literally.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A variety of complex structures is attempted, while recurring agreement, article, pronoun, and clause-construction errors limit accuracy.

Next step

Simplify overloaded sentences and proofread subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, particularly around individual learners and abstract knowledge.