Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature?
Sample Response
It is certainly true that modern life is less conducivethe present time is less convenient for children's developmentthe children’s outgrowth as they are overloadedover headed with excessive schoolworkenormous study materials by the school authorities. Therefore, they are simply stuck indoorsinside the home and unable to experience the fresh air outdoorsfresh air of outside world. However, it is essentialvery fundamental for childrenthe beginners to comprehend and experience the natural environmentget the taste of natural environment.
First of all, a child has a growing mind andwho seeks to learn more about the surroundings. For instance, keeping children at home all the timehours will hamper their natural physical developmentgrowth of physical appearances, as well as their minds. Sometimes, they could develop some healthdisease conditions such as vitamin D deficiencyvit- D deficiency and skin cancers etc. Further, modern life may contribute tofoot the bill of children's psychological problemschild’s psychological changes. They may suffer from depression, social phobias and some other childhood disorders. Furthermore, children may develop some also develop personality disorderspersonality disorders also. Thus, nowadays this issue has sparked athe heated debate and world is trying to find out the solutions.
As regarding the fact that, outside environment is truly essential for the bond between human and nature. Without realising the beauty of nature, our future generation will not able to respect them properly. Apparently, many trees are knocked down and woods are cleaned out, resulting in natural calamity and this is due to inefficient love and respect towards the environment. Moreover, social bonding is also a crucial factor, though in present time young’s are getting friends and social relationships on the web by facebook, twitter, Instagram etc but those are not healthy bonds for child’s growth. To add with, playing outside with friends may give a proper joy and liveable life.
To summarise, we can not deny the rapidity of present life where slow lives could not last for the long run, nevertheless, children should get the opportunity to see the outside earth despite passing hours indoors that will not offer them a healthy and pleasant life.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear belief that contact with nature matters and its range of relevant themes, including health, environmental responsibility, and social development. Its main limitation is that several ideas focus generally on the harms of staying indoors, include questionable claims, or are expressed unclearly; the highest-priority improvement is to explain directly how specific outdoor experiences teach children to understand and appreciate nature, using accurate evidence and simpler language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The central position is clear and relevant reasons are offered, but development is uneven and sometimes shifts away from learning to understand and appreciate nature.
Connect every body-paragraph example directly to how exposure builds children's knowledge, appreciation, or responsible behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression and paragraph structure, although list-like development and faulty linking sometimes weaken the flow.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and remove connectors that do not express the actual logical relationship.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic and shows ambition, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Use familiar, precise expressions for child development and outdoor experience instead of forcing less familiar words into unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clauses, punctuation, and word forms reduce accuracy and clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with secure subject-verb agreement and articles before combining ideas into longer structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.