Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in school. What could be the possible reasons for this? Which are the solutions you can propose?

Sample Response

1

It is true that children face a lot of challenges in their schools these days to focus fully on their studiesto give complete focus on academics due to various reasons. Even though there are many causative factors, parents and teachers can take several steps to mitigate these issues.

2

There are many reasons behind the lack of concentration among school children in classrooms. First and foremost, unlike the past, today the number of broken and single-parent families is increasing. Children from such families cannot focus completely on their studies as they are not mentally healthy and happy. For example, in India, a recent survey report showed that the failure ratefailure rate is much higher among children who come from problematic families than amongthe other children. Next, nutritional status is another important factorfact. Since pupils have more things to study, they often skip breakfast to save time. As a result, they become fatigued and weak easily when they reach schoolschools and this negatively affects their academic performanceit affects negatively in their academic performance. Other important reasons for the lack of attention among children in schools are increasing air and noise pollutionpollutions, unhealthy diets, addictionaddition to computer games and insufficient parenting.

3

However, there are several ways to tackle these problems effectively. I believe the most obvious solution is that parents should maintain a healthy and comfortable environment at home, which provides emotional well-beingmental pleasure and energy to children to perform well at schoolfor performing in school appropriately. Besides, they will be happy instead of unreasonable mental agony and psychological depression. Consequently, they can achieve higher grades or scoreshigher grade or score in examinations. A further step would be to improve children's nutritional intakeencourage nutritional intake of children by parents and teachers. Parents should prepare a balanced diet for students and moreover, they should promote and cultivate healthier eating habitsnutritional healthier habits. Next, nutritional classes should be organised onin school premises to increase the awareness among pupils. The teacher should make sure that the classes are interesting and childrenchildren’s can enjoy them. It is natural that when a classroom does not grab the attention of children, they will feel disconnected and bored. Enough emphasis should be put on making lessons suitable for children. Parents should ensure a healthy lifestyle and balanced dietmake sure a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet for their school going children.

4

To conclude, despite many causes and risk factors, parents and teachers can share a collective responsibility to enhance the concentration of children at school and studies to a large extent.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response addresses both causes and solutions and organises them into a clear progression, with useful development of family circumstances, nutrition, and classroom engagement. Its main limitation is that several causes are merely listed and the solution section becomes repetitive, while frequent collocation and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to select fewer cause-solution pairs, explain their connection directly, and proofread agreement, word forms, and prepositions.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

Both questions are answered with several relevant ideas, although some causes are listed without explanation and solutions are unevenly developed.

Next step

Choose two or three principal causes and pair each with a clearly explained, practical solution.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The response has a logical overall structure, but the long solution paragraph repeats nutrition points and weakens progression.

Next step

Divide and order the solutions by cause, removing repeated advice about diet and home life.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but inaccurate collocations and word choices occur regularly.

Next step

Use more natural combinations such as concentrate on studies, affect performance, and addiction to computer games.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

Complex sentences are attempted successfully enough to keep meaning clear, but agreement, article, possessive, and preposition errors recur.

Next step

Edit each sentence for agreement and noun form, particularly plurals, possessives, and dependent prepositions.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in school. What could be the possible reasons for this? Which are the solutions you can propose?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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