Many people believe that education standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.
Sample Response
It would be quite right to profess that the declination of educational quality, particularly in literature and mathematics, has globally grabbed attention among the populace over the last decades. This essay will connote the excessive use of state-of-the-art technological devices by juveniles and lack of good teachers as main causes and submit legislating stricter rules for exploiting accurately modern facilities at schools and encouraging talented people to come in the teaching profession as solutions to draw a reasonable conclusion.
According to a common perception among many, one of the fundamental reasons behind decreasing the level of standards concerning education lies in the fact that the young are used to utilise new electronic devices to carry out their assignments. As a case in point, one nephew of mine is accustomed to using his smart mobile phone not only for straightening out all the mathematical tests but for accounting simplest math questions like multiplying two one-digit numbers. That being so, it is more likely that in no so long distant future, he would not be able to achieve abilities of problem-solving in the real world being needed in the job market. Besides, students are too busy to play video games or surfing internet that they do not feel interested to read books outside their academic syllabus. Thus their reading habit is a daunting issue these days. Again, the lack of quality teachers who can inspire students is another reason for this decreasing educational standard. Most teachers these days are after money and fame rather than enlighting new generations.
It is obvious that it would not be possible to deal with such cataclysm by a single solution. Some, however, claim that by setting regulation concerning limited usage of technologic devices, particularly at educational centres could pave the road for improving training frameworks. To illustrate, in some European nations, some tough laws have been adopted by the higher ranking authorities in terms of forbidding the use of any kind of electronic facilities in classrooms, especially during the exams among pupils in elementary schools. They have correspondingly realised that the rate of students’ abilities for solving complicated issues gradually increased after a few months. Moreover, more literary works should be added in the syllabus to let students learn their own culture and custom through the reading of that literature. Finally, more facilities should be added for the teacher so that people do not come to teaching profession only because they did not find anything better. In many countries, very few talented people come to the teaching profession in junior level only because the government has not allocated enough facilities for those teachers.
By way of conclusion, being one of the practical and effective methods of overcoming the dilemma of a low quality of education standards ranging from literature to mathematics, legislating stricter rules for youngsters not exploiting modern facilities at school and attracting more quality teachers could be considered as two effective solutions to cope with somewhat this negative trend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong noun Original: declination of educational quality Suggested revision: decline in educational quality Why it matters: "Decline" is the natural noun here.
- 2. Match prompt terms Original: literature and mathematics Suggested revision: literacy and numeracy Why it matters: The prompt is about reading/writing and mathematical ability, not literature as a subject.
- 3. Wrong verb Original: connote Suggested revision: examine Why it matters: "Connote" means imply, not discuss or outline.
- 4. Natural noun Original: juveniles Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: "Juveniles" sounds legalistic and unnatural here.
- 5. Verb structure Original: submit legislating stricter rules Suggested revision: propose stricter rules Why it matters: The original verb pattern is ungrammatical.
- 6. Unclear phrase Original: exploiting accurately modern facilities Suggested revision: using modern facilities appropriately Why it matters: This expresses the intended meaning clearly.
- 7. Concise phrase Original: decreasing the level of standards Suggested revision: declining educational standards Why it matters: This is clearer and less wordy.
- 8. Wrong verb Original: accounting simplest math questions Suggested revision: solving simple maths problems Why it matters: "Solving" is the correct verb.
- 9. Fixed phrase Original: no so long distant future Suggested revision: the not-so-distant future Why it matters: This is the correct expression.
- 10. Natural collocation Original: abilities of problem-solving Suggested revision: problem-solving abilities Why it matters: Use the compound adjective before the noun.
- 11. Parallel structure Original: too busy to play video games or surfing internet Suggested revision: too busy playing video games or surfing the internet Why it matters: The two activities need parallel forms.
- 12. Spelling error Original: enlighting Suggested revision: enlightening Why it matters: This is the correct spelling.
Suggested Rewrites
- declination of educational quality decline in educational quality
- literature and mathematics literacy and numeracy
- connote examine
- juveniles young people
- submit legislating stricter rules propose stricter rules
- exploiting accurately modern facilities using modern facilities appropriately
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses causes and solutions and gives developed examples. It is relevant and ambitious, but some ideas are overcomplicated or imprecisely expressed, which can blur the argument.
State the two causes and two solutions in simpler language, then develop each with one clear example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and progression is logical. Cohesion is sometimes over-managed with heavy phrases that make the writing less natural.
Use simpler linking phrases and make topic sentences direct rather than highly abstract.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is wide, but several choices are inaccurate, over-formal, or used with the wrong collocation.
Prioritise accurate word choice over rare words; replace terms like "connote," "cataclysm," and "technologic" with natural academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses complex structures, but grammar errors in clauses, articles, and word forms are frequent and sometimes strain readability.
Shorten the longest sentences and check that each verb has a clear subject and object.