In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The globalisation era nowadays is changing children habit to compare with the previous era in the aspect of eating habit and lifestyle. Some people believe that the eating habit and lifestyle have negative effects on children's lives, especiallychildren's life especially their health and weak social relationshipspoor friendship. In my opinion, it is a fact that children's eating habitschildren eating habit and lifestyle have changed dramatically, with harmful effectschanged dramatically that has dangerous influences. The drawback of it will be presented in this essaywill be presenting on this paper.
First of all, eating habits affect children's healtheating habit will affect the children health. It is important to notice that the current children commonly find out the easiest and fastest way to obtain foodthe easiest and the fastest way to find the food. Many ways to acquire the food but one better and faster way is fast food or junk food, which is provided in every corner of a city such as hamburger, pizza, etc. It is important to become aware of that this kind of food does not contain adequate nutritionis not containing nutrition. Meanwhile, in the young ages are better to consume nutrition food which useful for their brain. The drawback of eating fast food is becoming obesegetting obesity, which is becoming a common conditionbecoming common illness of young people nowadays.
Moreover, children's lifestyles also leadchildren lifestyle also leads to less socialisingto lack of socialising with other people. More and more children nowadays spend time playing computer games in their bedroom which can help train their mindswhich have beneficial outcomes to train their mind. In contrast, this habit has many disadvantages, for example, becoming addicted which lead to the lack of contact with their friends and also get sick because they never do exercises. Furthermore, the children should be able to manage time wisely between playing computer games and socialising with other people.
In conclusion, it should be brought to our attentionput in our attention that children'schildren activities nowadays are different from those of several years agodifferent to several years ago. Most children's habits todayMost today children’s habits involveare eating and playing computer games which affect their health, for example, obesity. The parents are responsible for helping their children to prevent them from any kindkinds of illness.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear opinion and organises two relevant concerns around unhealthy food and sedentary computer use, so the central message remains easy to follow. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate grammar and awkward vocabulary, which make explanations imprecise and sometimes difficult to process; development also becomes repetitive or drifts toward socialising. The highest-priority improvement is to build each health effect through clear cause-and-result sentences using accurate basic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with a clear agreement position and relevant health-related ideas, but support is simple and occasionally drifts from health effects.
Develop each point with a precise causal chain linking the changed habit to a specific health consequence, keeping social effects secondary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and basic progression support comprehension, although linking is mechanical and some sentences do not connect logically within the argument.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and organise each body paragraph around one sequence of habit, mechanism, and health result.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss diet and lifestyle, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms noticeably reduce precision.
Practise natural health-related phrases such as nutritious food, become obese, lack exercise, and children's habits instead of translating word combinations directly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, plurals, clauses, and verb forms weaken control.
Focus first on complete subject-verb structures and agreement, then check articles and singular-plural forms in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.