Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the most significant effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a more substantial influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Sample Response
Childhood memories are the best ones in anyone’s life. During that period, everyone loves you, feeds you, and plays with you. Most people’s memory of this period is happy. Still, there are few cases when individuals have to watch the fight between parents or may feel neglected by parents because of their busy work life and in some extreme situations, one has to bear abuse also. This kind of behaviour has an influence on one’s mind because, during that age, one can not differentiate between right and wrong, and he/she learns whatever he/she sees. To cite an example, If one has seen his/her father beating his/her mother, he/she believes it is normal to beat anyone. Although these memories have an influence on one’s mind, there might be chances that one can forget these memories with advancing age as one has seen things instead of experiencing them by himself/herself.
On the other hand, teenagers are growing and learning new things, and they have the ability to think. They can judge right and wrong, and as the age advances, one has to deal with different situations, and while dealing with them, one gain experience through the approaches one has chosen and the outcome of these approaches. In other words, in their teens, they think about outcomes, or they try to avoid mistakes which they made in the past. For example, if one has ruined his/her relationship with someone because of anger issues, in future relationships, he/she will be more careful about his/her anger, and he/she will work on it. So, it is impossible to forget the knowledge one gained during growing age.
In my opinion, although every situation is impactful in one’s life, memories and experiences of adolescence have more power than childhood memories. The reason for this is that with advancing age those memories might fade away or in childhood if one face any difficulty one directly approaches his/her parents and get solution for it; however, in teenage, sometimes one do not share everting with parents and try to find a solution by himself/herself. Also, some might overthink, which can lead to the issue of depression in many youngsters that may never be seen in childhood.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise wording Original: ones Suggested revision: memories Why it matters: Repeating the noun is clearer and more natural than using the vague substitute ‘ones’.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: memory Suggested revision: memories Why it matters: The reference to the memories of multiple people requires a plural noun.
- 3. Match plural subject Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The verb must agree with the corrected plural subject ‘memories’.
- 4. Add article Original: there are few cases when Suggested revision: there are a few cases in which Why it matters: ‘A few’ means some cases, while ‘few’ implies almost none, and ‘in which’ fits the noun ‘cases’.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: watch the fight between parents Suggested revision: witness fights between their parents Why it matters: ‘Witness fights’ expresses the situation more naturally and identifies whose parents are involved.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: bear abuse also Suggested revision: also suffer abuse Why it matters: ‘Suffer abuse’ is the standard collocation, and ‘also’ normally precedes the main verb.
- 7. Keep pronouns consistent Original: he/she learns whatever he/she sees Suggested revision: they learn whatever they see Why it matters: Using a consistent plural pronoun avoids the cumbersome repeated paired form.
- 8. Lowercase after comma Original: If Suggested revision: if Why it matters: The dependent clause continues the same sentence, so ‘if’ should not be capitalized.
- 9. Clarify the object Original: it is normal to beat anyone Suggested revision: it is normal to hit other people Why it matters: ‘Other people’ conveys the intended general target more precisely than ‘anyone’.
- 10. Use present perfect Original: mistakes which they made Suggested revision: mistakes that they have made Why it matters: The present perfect connects earlier mistakes with the teenagers’ current attempts to avoid them.
- 11. Improve concise phrasing Original: he/she will be more careful about his/her anger Suggested revision: they will manage their anger more carefully Why it matters: This revision removes cumbersome paired pronouns and expresses the intended response to anger more naturally.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: during growing age Suggested revision: while growing up Why it matters: ‘Growing age’ is not an idiomatic expression for the period of becoming older.
Suggested Rewrites
- ones memories
- memory memories
- is are
- there are few cases when there are a few cases in which
- watch the fight between parents witness fights between their parents
- bear abuse also also suffer abuse
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear comparative position and its attempt to explain both stages with concrete examples. However, several points are generalized or logically uncertain, and frequent agreement, pronoun, and word-choice errors weaken precision even though meaning remains clear. Prioritize developing each view with a focused causal explanation, then edit sentences for subject–verb agreement and more natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a clear preference for adolescent experiences is maintained, though some supporting claims are generalized or insufficiently convincing.
Develop each view through one precise causal chain that clearly shows how the experience shapes later life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the two views and the opinion, although some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas.
Divide overloaded sentences and use referencing more selectively so each paragraph’s reasoning remains easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing development and personal experience, but several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Replace unnatural phrases with standard academic combinations and check spelling and word form during revision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but frequent agreement, pronoun, article, and sentence-control errors reduce accuracy.
Prioritize subject–verb agreement and restructure long clauses before checking articles and pronoun consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the most significant effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a more substantial influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.