Some people believe that children should grow up in the city while others believe the countryside is a better choice. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many think that children ought to be raised in the city, while others feel a rural setting contributes to a better childhood. In my opinion, though living in the countryside allows children to learn a variety of useful skills, the crucial life skill is learned in the city.
Children who grow up in the countryside tend to have a good grasp of many household jobs. In the countryside, it is more difficult and expensive to bring in a maid or handyman for assistance. As a result, many country kids that live on farms or in remote areas must lend a hand in taking care of the livestock, cooking for the family, and undertaking various small repairs around the home. Children living in the city, in contrast, are more likely to get their food from restaurants and spend more time focused on their homework, not taking on an active engagement with the environment around them. Over time, the gulf in terms of what a child from the countryside from city can do widens.
Nonetheless, the city is better for raising children because of the social skills one can learn there. Children from country often find themselves a product of their unique household and struggle to adapt to different social spheres if they move to the city for work. Those who grow up in the city have to interact with other children from a variety of ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds on a daily basis. In order to do this, they develop greater empathy for others and improve their conversational skills. They may switch from one group of friends to another or interact with adults with diverse occupations and nationalities, all contributing to their social education. The end result is that they grow up with a far keener understanding of how to communicate and connect with people, a skill of singular value.
In conclusion, children in the country learn a number of practical skills but lag behind in terms of social skills. Parents must weigh many competing priorities but if all factors are equal, they should opt for urban life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the key skill Original: the crucial life skill is learned in the city Suggested revision: the most crucial social skills are learned in the city Why it matters: The revision identifies the type of skill developed later in the essay and fixes the awkward singular reference.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: jobs Suggested revision: tasks Why it matters: 'Household tasks' is the more natural term for routine work done around the home.
- 3. Use formal phrasing Original: country kids that live Suggested revision: children in the countryside who live Why it matters: The revision uses an appropriately formal noun and the preferred relative pronoun for people.
- 4. Make phrasing concise Original: taking care of the livestock Suggested revision: caring for livestock Why it matters: The concise collocation is more natural in formal writing.
- 5. Add required article Original: Children from country Suggested revision: Children from the countryside Why it matters: The fixed geographical expression requires the definite article.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: a product of their unique household Suggested revision: shaped by their individual households Why it matters: The revision expresses the influence of each child's home more naturally and precisely.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: In order to do this Suggested revision: Through these daily interactions Why it matters: The revision names the preceding activity directly instead of using a vague reference.
- 8. Clarify clause link Original: all contributing to their social education Suggested revision: which all contribute to their social education Why it matters: A relative clause makes the connection between the listed interactions and their effect explicit.
- 9. Use natural emphasis Original: a skill of singular value Suggested revision: an especially valuable skill Why it matters: The revision conveys the same emphasis in a more natural academic phrase.
- 10. Add clause comma Original: priorities but Suggested revision: priorities, but Why it matters: A comma is needed before the coordinating conjunction joining the two independent clauses.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Children living in the city, in contrast, are more likely to get their food from restaurants and spend more time focused on their homework, not taking on an active engagement with the environment around them. Suggested revision: Children living in the city, in contrast, are more likely to get their food from restaurants and spend more time focused on homework rather than engaging actively with the environment around them. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the awkward negative participial structure while preserving the contrast.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Over time, the gulf in terms of what a child from the countryside from city can do widens. Suggested revision: Over time, the gulf between what a child from the countryside and a child from the city can do widens. Why it matters: The rewrite restores the missing comparative structure and makes both groups explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- the crucial life skill is learned in the city the most crucial social skills are learned in the city
- jobs tasks
- country kids that live children in the countryside who live
- taking care of the livestock caring for livestock
- Children from country Children from the countryside
- a product of their unique household shaped by their individual households
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives a clear, sustained preference for city upbringing while developing both perspectives through relevant, specific reasoning. Its strongest feature is the logical expansion of the social-skills argument; the main limitation is a handful of awkward or overgeneralised claims, especially in the countryside comparison. Refine those comparisons with more precise wording and qualification so the otherwise persuasive argument is consistently natural and credible.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed through developed explanations, and the preference for urban life remains clear throughout.
Qualify broad contrasts about rural and urban children so the supporting claims are more consistently persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with clear contrasts and a well-integrated conclusion.
Tighten the final comparison in the countryside paragraph so its meaning follows more smoothly from the examples.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with only occasional awkward phrasing in otherwise natural expression.
Replace the few compressed or malformed comparisons with direct, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a wide variety of complex structures with strong control and only isolated grammatical slips.
Proofread article use and comparative constructions to remove the remaining local inaccuracies.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children should grow up in the city while others believe the countryside is a better choice. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.