Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn cooperation and teamwork from sports. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Sport significantly influencesplays a significant role in shaping children's developmentshaping the development of children, with some arguing that it primarily teaches them how to compete, while others assert that it fosters collaboration and teamwork. This essay will discuss both perspectives and argue thatpresent the viewpoint that sports can effectively instil a spirit of teamwork and cooperationinstil the spirit of teamwork and cooperation skills in children if a friendly and conducive team sporting environment is providedis offered to them.
On the one hand, proponents of the idea that sports teach children how to compete emphasiseemphasize the individual natureaspects of certain sports and the pursuit of individual achievementthe pursuit of personal achievements. In competitive sports such as athletics and swimming, children often strive to improve their personal bestbests and aim to outperform others. This competitive approach fosters a sense of determination and a drivedetermination, and a drive to succeed in competitive eventsfierce contests. For instance, when children compete in track and field events, they tend to surpass others and winbecome the winners through competition.
On the other hand, those who believe that sports encourage cooperation and teamworkalliance highlight the collective nature of team sports such asteam sports like football, basketball, and cricket. In team sports, children learn the importance of cooperation and communication with their teammates to achieve sharedcommon objectives. By working together towards a shared goal, children develop interpersonal skills and an understanding of the benefits of collective effort. For example, in a football match, players need to coordinate their movements, pass the ball strategically, and support each other to score goals, showcasing the essence of teamwork.
In conclusion, sports provide a platform for children to develop skills ina skill set encompassing cooperation and teamwork. The key lies in promoting a positive approach to sports education, where children can participate in a variety of team sports that support individual growth and collective learningcater to individual growth and collective learning. Therefore, children should be encouragedit is expected that children would be encouraged to participate in team sportsparticipate in various team sports and learn to cooperate andto become collaborativecollborative and supportive.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear preference while discussing both competitive and cooperative dimensions of sport in a logically organised, well-supported essay. Its main limitation is that the competition argument is somewhat repetitive and less analytically developed than the teamwork argument, while a few awkward word choices and minor errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain more specifically how competition shapes children and then connect that analysis more directly to the final position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with a clear opinion and relevant support, although the competition side is developed less deeply.
Develop the first view through a more specific causal explanation rather than repeating that children try to outperform others.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without obscuring the argument.
Make the conclusion more directly synthesize the contrast between individual competition and cooperative team experience.
Lexical Resource
A broad, topic-appropriate vocabulary is used flexibly, though several choices such as 'cooperation skills' and 'alliance' are imprecise.
Prioritise natural collocations and proofread isolated spelling slips such as 'collborative'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is handled with good control, with only occasional awkward or minor errors.
Refine article, modifier, and clause choices in longer sentences so that sophisticated structures remain fully natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn cooperation and teamwork from sports. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.