Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Television, as a learning tool, could be useful if children watch the right programmes for a limited duration of time each day. I do believe that TV can be a very powerful learning tool for children, and that is why, they should be allowed to watch TV programmes both at home and school, but within the teacher's and parent's watch.
To begin with, though I am no longer a student, I can still learn better by watching TV rather than reading books. Whenever I tune on to the History Channel, BBC or National Geographic Channel, I can learn new things. This is also true for school-going children. My younger brother, who is a college student with a History major, heavily relies on History Channel documentaries to enhance his knowledge of history.
Moreover, TV programmes are the audio-visual presentation of an event, story or fact, and thus have lasting impressions on our brains. If the right programmes are chosen for children, they will learn faster by watching TV. For instance, one of our neighbours allows her 3 years old daughter to watch Rhymes on the internet TV channels, and she can recite most of those rhymes. According to her mother, the girl has learned more effectively by watching animated cartoons that have rhymes than by reading books. Since TV is a powerful learning tool, we can use it in school for educational purposes.
In conclusion, as parents and teachers, we must pick suitable educational programmes for our youngsters both in school and at home. I believe that TV is a good pedagogical tool, and hence its use in the school and home for both educational and recreational purposes should be allowed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use firmer wording Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: The revised modal better matches the writer's stated belief in television's usefulness.
- 2. Remove stray comma Original: that is why, Suggested revision: that is why Why it matters: A comma should not separate this linking phrase from its following clause.
- 3. Complete parallel phrase Original: both at home and school Suggested revision: both at home and at school Why it matters: The paired construction needs the preposition before both locations.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: within the teacher's and parent's watch Suggested revision: under teachers' and parents' supervision Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to express adult supervision.
- 5. Correct phrasal verb Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The standard phrasal verb for watching a channel is 'tune in to'.
- 6. Clarify study status Original: with a History major Suggested revision: majoring in History Why it matters: This participial form describes the brother's field of study more naturally.
- 7. Fix number agreement Original: are the audio-visual presentation Suggested revision: are audio-visual presentations Why it matters: The plural subject requires a plural complement, and the generic article is unnecessary.
- 8. Correct verb choice Original: have Suggested revision: make Why it matters: English uses 'make an impression' rather than 'have an impression' in this meaning.
- 9. Use lowercase noun Original: Rhymes Suggested revision: rhymes Why it matters: The common noun 'rhymes' should not be capitalized here.
- 10. Remove unnecessary article Original: the internet TV channels Suggested revision: internet TV channels Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring generally to internet television channels.
- 11. Use concise phrasing Original: animated cartoons that have rhymes Suggested revision: animated cartoons featuring rhymes Why it matters: 'Featuring' expresses the relationship more precisely and concisely.
- 12. Remove wordiness Original: limited duration of time Suggested revision: limited period Why it matters: 'Duration of time' is unnecessarily repetitive in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- could can
- that is why, that is why
- both at home and school both at home and at school
- within the teacher's and parent's watch under teachers' and parents' supervision
- on in
- with a History major majoring in History
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports the educational value of television with relevant, readily understandable examples. Its main limitation is that the stated conditions of limited viewing and adult supervision receive little development, while several awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain how controlled television use would work at school and home, using more accurate collocations and grammatical forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported with relevant examples of educational television, although the proposed limits and supervision are insufficiently developed.
Develop the conditions in the thesis by explaining how programme selection, time limits, and adult oversight would make television effective in both settings.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Make the progression more purposeful by giving each body paragraph a distinct claim and explicitly connecting it to the home-or-school context.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but awkward collocations such as supervision being described as a watch and tuning on reduce naturalness.
Use standard collocations such as under adult supervision, tune in to, and three-year-old daughter, while avoiding unnecessary capitalization.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, though recurring agreement, punctuation, possessive, and noun-phrase errors remain noticeable.
Check subject-verb agreement, adjective forms before nouns, and punctuation around clauses to improve accuracy without reducing sentence variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.